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Feeling Ostomistic
Saturday, October 27 2018

This is not a paid advert or collaboration, just me finding a great deal to pass on.

I have tried all year since reading the Barefoot Investor to find savings where I could through reviewing our bills and that with other providers and even had power panels installed through an interest free payment offer.

One of the bills that has been bugging me, is my pet insurance for Dusty, I know many think it is a waste of money to insure your pet but it is something that could help save big costs. With Dusty's breed of cat, we were recommended by a vet nurse to get insurance and go through Pet Plan.

We signed up a policy when he came to live with us going on 2 years ago to this date and at the time the plan was great and affordable at $36 roughtly a month. But once the 12 months were up the policy jumped up, and then up again and now is sitting around the $63 a month, almost doubling and I am no longer feeling confident with our policy. We haven't needed to use it yet but it was a large cost that had doubled for almost no reason.

So I was on Kogan the other night looking for a gift for Russ for Xmas, when I saw an advert for pet insurance and was curious. I was intrigued by the first month free, but also that the plans looked similar to what I was paying currently with Petplan but at a much lower rate. 


^^See, isn't it an adorable advert, I mean effective, but who can resist those eyes! (screen shot of their site)

I signed up and emailed to cancel my petplan and pray that Dusty doesn't get sick and needs a vet, but at least if he does we have cover.

Best of all, it is now only $39 roughly a month instead of $63 and to our budget and pocket that is a big saving!

I am interested in learning more about their mobile and internet plans, 2 years until our contracts are up but never too early to research options.

That is our power reduced, our pet insurance, our car insurance and our home and contents insurances this year, I think I have done well to make a little savings in each policy.

I always feel productive when I have done some adulting, Russ is even happier if it comes in under budget. Or when Xmas comes early...


He was so stoked and keen to stumble across his Xmas gift early from ToyDeals.com.au

Oh and as for Russell's Xmas present (the whole reason I was on Kogan to begin with), I ended up finding it on a different site for $30 cheaper, it arrived on his day off and he opened it and started setting up before I had realised, so now he has his Xmas gift and he loved it. It was a pokemon go lego like (mega construx) and was a big gyuarados (the evolved form of Magicarp) so Russ has been happy. Found it on ToyDeals.com.au for $30 plus post, but still was cheaper than most sites, quick to arrive too (couple of days too). also not a paid mention, just a damn good find!


Russ focussing as he builds his Gyarados

 
The finished Gyrados from ToyDeals.com.au

Crazy that Christmas is so close, it also means that the Share the dignity #itsinthebag promotion is on soon too, better get started on that myself. I am not anywhere near organised this year!

Disclaimer: I was not paid or asked to write about this, I found and paid for this plan myself and thought it was a great buy to pass on to you, always read the PDS to make sure the product is right for you. 

Posted by: Talya AT 01:03 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Monday, October 15 2018

I posted on social media the other night (well, last Thursday) a teasing photo of a delcicious hearty stew I had brewing in the Slow Cooker, it sparked so many asking for the recipe, so here is the stew recipe and story behind it.

Please note: I have not been paid by any of the companies I mention when it comes to ingredients I use, you can always opt for your own preferred company of choice, but this is my stew and how I have made it for over a decade.

Story behind the Stew:

I first learned about this stew when I was staying over at a friends house in year 12 and we went to spend the day at her Grandmother's house and she said "girls since you're leaving home soon I better share an easy stew recipe". So we cooked it and she talked us through it and she gave me a copy, I started experimenting making the stew and adding in different ingredients and was determined to make it my own.

It is one of those stews that are perfect for wintery cold nights or if it is raining outside and will be rainy days ahead it is nice to just pop the stew on to cook in the slow cooker and wait for it to cook, meanwhile enjoying the smells as they fill your house for the next 8 hours.

I also find that we can get a few days worth of meals out of this, we put as much as we can into chinese containers and pop them in the fridge and freezer, but one chinese container is one bowl full for one person.

But don't ask me the calorie intake, I have no idea but it is just delicious, and Russ loves it too! You'll want seconds it is so good!

You will need:
 Ingredients, see below
A slow cooker
Knife
Measuring cup
Big ladle or soup stirring spoon

Ingredients: (I get all my ingredients from my local Woolworths)

1 x large bbq chicken [ or you can cook your own chicken, ] for time management and ease I use a BBQ chicken (it is the most costly component), sometimes you can find cold chickens which is just as good to use and cheaper too
2 x cans of Campbells Canned Soup Cream Of Chicken & Corn 420g
OR 1 x can of the previous with 1 x can of Campbell's Canned Soup Cream Of Chicken 420g
2 x cans of hearty or chunky vegetable soup (select brand is fine, sometimes i get one cheaper brand and one of the campbells range)
1 x Continental Cup A Soup Creamy Garden Vegetable 2 Pack 2pk 70g (use 1 pack and keep one aside for next time)
1 x Continental Cup A Soup Creamy Chicken & Corn With Croutons 2 pack (use 1 pack and keep one aside for next time)
1/3 a bag of San Remo Shells Small Pasta No 28 500g
1 x cup of water, cold is fine
1/4 a bag of Woolworths Carrots Peas & Corn 1kg
2 or 3 carrots (depending on size) chopped in chunky pieces roughly 1cm in width (skin left on)
4 or 5 white spud potatoes (with skin left on) chopped in halves or quarters depending on size
1 or 2 sweet potato (depending on size) chopped in maybe 2cm pieces then chopped again into halves or quarters depending on size of piece
You can add in broccoli or cauliflower, sometimes I will add in fresh pieces or I will use a winter vegetable pack of frozen chunky vegetables

*

I think that is all the ingredients, now for the making of it

Steps:

Step 1. Locate your slow cooker and plug in to power, add 1 cup of water and turn to high

Step 2. Wash your fresh vegetables like sweet potato, carrot, potatoes just wash but keep skin on (when it is ready the skin just easily fall off), if you're adding in fresh brocolli or brocollini or cauliflower wash these too.

Step 3. Add in the cans of Campbell's condensed cream of chicken and corn or cream of chick soup cans into the slow cooker.

Step 4. Add in the canned vegetables.

Step 5. Add in the Continental cup a soup creamy garden vegetable and creamy chicken and corn with croutons sachets.

Step 6. Mix all the soup together

Step 7. Next add in the BBQ chicken by tearing off small bite size pieces but not adding in the skin, bones or stuffing

Step 8. Mix the chicken and soup mixes together

Step 9. Add in the shell pasta and mix it all together, add more if you think it needs more, but not too much more.

Step 10. Add in the pieces of cut chunky fresh carrots, sweet potato and potato. Stir it all together.

Step 11. Add in the frozen vegetables and stir it all together.

Step 12. Leave on high for 2 hours, check roughly hourly and stir, it can be messy as it will rise and thicken as it cooks.

Step 13. After 2 hours turn to low for 6-8 hours and check hourly and stir

Step 14. Leave it on low for another couple of hours if you think it needs longer.

IF DISCARDING STEP 14, turn it off and serve.

Step 15. ENJOY your delicious thick stew

* We love to buy the packs of dinner rolls from the woolworths bakery and pop in the oven so they are hot and fresh for when we serve up our dinner, we cut them along the tops and we stuff spoonfulls of stew in there and then eat it like that. We also use bread not toasted but buttered to scoop up the soup and it just is delicious.

Step 16. Fill up containers, we use takeaway chinese containers and pack these to the brim and pop 3/4 in the fridge and 1/4 in the freezer. We find with the 2 of us we can eat this for lunch and dinner for a few days using the fridge containers, often Russ goes back for a second bowl.

My observations:

I have made this when I have had my kid siblings come and stay over the years or my MIL and they have loved the stew. It is so easy to make and all the effort is in the preparation and the slow cooker does the hard part. I would cook this if it were cold and miserable weather, or if it is raining, nothing says snug as a bug as a hearty winter stew whilist nestled under blankets enjoying a movie.

We made this Thursday night, and I say we as I sat and supervised Russ and told him what to do as I wasn't up for standing in the kitchen for even half an hour or less (pain). But Russ loves when "we" make stuff together, he loves learning how to cook some of my meals that he loves.

We started cooking this at 7pm Thursday night and was cooking when we went to bed, and the aroma wafting through the house had my tummy rumbling all night. We would check it every hour and then we turned it off and put it in chinese containers and went back to bed. So it was exciting to wake Friday and have stew for lunch, and dinner and we still have a couple of bowls left.

But I have to be careful with my stoma, luckily all the veggies and chicken break down so soft they just fall apart and then i try to take the skin off to avoid a blockage, but as I have had so much and it has caused my output to be rather thick and caused a blockage, so just keep that in mind if you're an ostomate prone to blockages that it does make things thick.... but it is so delicious!

Our Slow Cooker:

This is an adorable story, we got our slow cooker the first Christmas we were together (2009). We spent Xmas Eve with Russ' family who were up from Melbourne as we planned on spending the next day with my dad and family. So we unwrapped our gifts and our joint gift from Russ' family was a George Foreman slow cooker. I was so excited as I had been saying to Russ I wished we had one as I was missing being able to cook my stew. 

So the next day we went to Xmas at my dad's and he handed us a joint Xmas present which was a slow cooker! we laughed as what are the odds of getting 2 slow cookers! I was really appreciative and thanked my dad but Russ' mum made a comment how she beat them to it and we had one already, so dad took it back to the store as it was unopened ( we already opened the one the night before as I was keen to make pinterest desserts) and he bought us something else. 

I remember one Xmas dad wanted an electric sander so he bought one for mum so she could use it, and that same Xmas mum bought dad an electric sander so she could use it. It still makes me smile even though I was 10, it made me laugh that Xmas with the slow cooker remembering the electric sander gifts.

So we have been enjoying our slow cooker for quite some years now, I used to use it more when I could easily jump in the car and go get groceries and was more independant, but I am wanting to make slow cooked lamb shanks for Russ next winter.... but I have been trying to convince my nan to get a slow cooker as she would love it, pop the meal on in the morning and smell it cook all day. 

Tell me, what is the favourite slow cooker recipe of yours? Mine is definitely my hearty stew.

If you do manage to make this please let me know how you went!

 

Posted by: Talya AT 06:44 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Thursday, October 04 2018

Trigger warning: Talks of mental health, vulnerability

You: Hi!

            Me: Hi.

You: How are you?

            Me: Fine.

You: Ok. What's up for today?

            Me: ...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I'm sure you would agree that this is, the normal greeting and conversation you would have with most people throughout your day. What purpose does it serve when it is offered by rote, and from both parties? 

There are times when the question might be just a little different and if you stop to think about your response you can create change. Observe.

You: Hi!

               Me: Hi.

Y: How are you?

               Me: Fine.

Y: Hmm... Do you want to talk?

               Me: Umm...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
This is when a life can change, your life, and it's totally in your control.

Hi everyone this is Russell, the Ostomistic Husband.

Recently, I had a bit of a breakdown at work. I got there to work okay, but then things just got just a bit too much for me. Luckily, we were made aware that there is easy access to a counselling service available to staff, through our EAP, so I had to sort of bite down on my pride and ask for help.... finally!

This was hard, but the hardest part of the day came next. 

Next, was the call to the counselling service which led to even more of a breakdown, so obviously there was more to it than just a momentary lapse in willpower. Just talking to them about why I was feeling so teary led to finding I was truly angry on the inside, and I realised it was about time that I started opening up for real and sharing these feelings with someone before they became more harmful…. If not only to myself but to others too, and its the least I want.

The tears were because I was really worried about Talya’s declining health; your best friend dying before your eyes, is enough to jerk a tear from even the most hardened macho jerk. I'd gotten to a point where I had to really start opening myself up to someone and letting them in. 

That hurt me because Talya is the most supportive and talkative person I know, yet, I was not letting her in. I know she only wants to get inside my mind further and help me work through this, but I think that I can’t talk to her about how I feel because that would not be me being strong for her. I also know that Talya doesn’t tell me how much pain she’s in all the time because that’s her being strong for me. 

I am so tired of us pushing against each other when we really should be pulling each other closer, so we can rely on each other‘s strength to be able to help us in our time of perceived weakness. The time is now.

The anger itself, was mostly a due to the fact that I can't control everything. I was finding that the more stressed I was getting the more time I'd have to take off work. Missing out on income didn’t help things, we would have to tighten the purse-strings at home for the following weeks as only small paychecks came in. That made things even more stressful so on spiralled everything down towards chaos and I thought, "Enough is enough! I have to man up. I have to deal with what’s going on inside, uncomfortable as it is I must move forward"

I have autism, so it’s hard for me to talk about feelings that I don't fully understand. But, I have to find a way of communicating my internal workings to someone so that they might be able to give me some additional tools to better deal with those feelings. I don’t generally feel emotions all the time, and when I do get them they are usually overwhelming and too powerful and it scares me. 

Unlike most people, I didn't get to learn how to deal with those feelings, in their varying degrees, when I was younger. So when I get some hot emotion it’s just like a huge slap in the face and I don’t know what to do. Actually I do know what to do; I do what most people in my position do, and that is retreat

So usually I retreat inside myself rather than looking for outside help. I think it best to stop talking, I just want to be alone, I just want to suppress those feelings and hope that in time they go away. I need to learn to recognise there are times that I can self heal and there are times that I require external forces to help me to heal.

What I'd been doing up to now was no longer working, so I had to make a change, it was only inevitable. I think that having this counselling service available to me is a lifeline that has been there for me for years, had I just opened my eyes and pride to the service. I know it is going to be a huge benefit to me. I may have the secrets of the universe poured into my open and receptive mind or I may only learn relaxation techniques to help deal with my grief, not just loss but the anticipatory grief too. 

Either way I will be in a better place than before simply because I answered a question posed to me in simple conversation honestly, not automatically.

So basically my message here is if you need help ask for it. If you can’t ask the people that are closest to you then for the sake of your sanity and health ask somebody else. 

Just do yourself a favour and talk to someone, even if you do all the talking and you realise what you need to do without them saying a word. The fact that they’re there means you are not alone and that you’ve opened up to them means you are able to start healing.

I just want all the blokes out there who are carers to someone who is chronically or terminally unwell, that I see you, that I am you and that you are not alone in this brother. We are the forgotten brotherhood in this story but if anything we should rely on each other.

Let’s remove the stigma that it isn’t the blokey thing to speak up about our feelings, but we shouldn’t feel ashamed for when we do cry, it is better than bottling it all in and an avalanche of problems emerging.

Fellas, we need to be the best parts of ourselves so we can be the champions our women need us to be so lets make a pact that we will not go through this alone anymore. Yes, it isn’t us who are sick but we are the ones who are here holding their hand when they are crying, comforting them in their times of need, but we keep neglecting that this is all taking a toll on us too.

The pain at the thought of losing my beautiful wife is all to hard and real but I know I am not the only partner or husband out there who is feeling this anger and loss.

How about I start up a group called "The Ostomistic Husband brotherhood", where it is a fb group you’re welcome to join and share in the times you are struggling and need a little clarity or just need someone who gets it to know you aren’t alone, I won't be available to offer advice or act as a counsellor but should you need somehwere to ask for questions or need a safe space to open up, this will be it.

If you would find this group valuable comment yes under this blog. It is a safe space, men or partners or carers of someone ill or terminal.

I know there isn’t much support for the men and the carers but lets be in that change tonight.

It is only one day at a time that is given, but lets use that day to try and be the change we wish to see in the world.

Please don’t forget you’re not alone, I am you, I see you, I feel you.

About the Author:

Russell, a husband in his mid 30's, is a computer salesman by day and a unicorn husband by night*. He enjoys long walks on the beach, playing Pokemon Go, he loves lamp, and he loves all things nerdy! He hopes through his writing and sharing of his experiences of having a young and terminally ill wife, might help other men to understand what not to say (to avoid getting yelled at) or how they can better support their loved one. If you want to connect with Russ (or send him topics/questions or areas of concern you have) send him an email via russell @ feelingostomistic.com.au. 

 

Posted by: The Ostomistic Husband AT 07:46 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
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~  Living with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis - Effects of FAP  ~

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Talya Goding - Feeling Ostomistic   talya@feelingostomistic.com.au  |  0447 426 860

Thank you for stopping by Feeling Ostomistic. It has taken a lot of courage to share my story and I ask that you show me and my site/blog respect and courtesy. Views expressed in this blog are my own and I am not a nurse or a doctor. If you need medical advice please seek your medical practitioner.

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