Monday, March 21 2016
Reading that heading, are you thinking "Wait did I just read that right?".
Well my friend, you certainly did.
Firstly, let me start by saying this is nothing sexual. Not that I am judging anyone who is into that sort of stuff... but my doctor advised me I needed to start fingering my stoma for medical reasons not sexual.
You might recall me complaining and sharing the recent experience of my new stoma here on my blog and on social media, and if you've been following from home you'll know that this new stoma is a bitch and is tricky and is very leaky!
One of the problems with the stoma, is due to the remaining tumour being completely adhered to the stoma it is pulling the stoma down from the surface and making it retracted.
Imagine a cone or a funnel, how you have a bigger and wider opening towards the top but at the bottom/base it is a smaller and more narrower hole.
Now imagine that small hole is under a lot of pressure and is getting smaller and smaller because it is being pulled down.
Imagine that hole getting so small and closing up that passing any sort of waste through the stoma would become rather painful... That smaller hole is the part of my small intestine (small bowel) that USED to be stiched to the surface of my skin, and is now sitting some 5cm below the surface of what now looks like a belly button hole.
.. well this is what I am facing with my new stoma. There is a high chance that I could need corrective surgery (which might only make things worse) if it gets to this last stage.
But my doctor told me I can avoid this by doing one simple thing each time I do a bag change or at least once a day... and that is fingering my stoma!
It doesn't have to be rough or anything, but if I put my finger down into the stoma and just sit it there it should help to stretch it out. It does kinda hurt, it does bleed a little and there is often a huge gush of waste coming out.
But as much as I hate doing it I also don't want to be in the position where it will close over an become painful (or I should say more painful).
I just wish I could go back to how things were with my old stoma... I am really missing it!
disclaimer: please don't go stretching your stoma hole willy nilly without the guidance of your bowel surgeon or stoma nurses, I am simply sharing my recent experience in the hopes of helping someone in a similar situation feel less alone or feel empowered enough to ask if it is something they need to do to help their own difficult stoma.
Saturday, February 20 2016
For those who have been following my facebook page would know of my struggle the past several months involving a rather aggressive and fast growing Desmoid tumour that was causing me issues and making me sick.
I haven't blogged much about my tumour and experience, just been mirco blogging on my facebook page. But today, I am wanting to write about my most recent experience which involved having the tumour removed and having a new stoma created.
According to the Desmoid Tumour Research Foundation a definition of a Desmoid Tumour is that these "... are tumors that arise from cells called fibroblasts. Fibroblasts are found throughout our body and their main function is to provide structural support and protection to the vital organs such as lung, liver, blood vessels, heart, kidneys, skin, intestines etc. and they also play a critical role in wound healing. When fibroblast cells undergo mutations they can become cancerous and become desmoid tumors (also known as "aggressive fibromatosis")..."
These tumours can be slow growing or extremely aggressive (which mine are) and can become life threatening when they locally invade or restrict on structures, organs or blood vessels.
I had two tumours (now I have one) both in my mesentery and one is also deep in my abdomen compressing on my kidney and also presses on my stomach and back often causing me pain when I walk short periods or am standing for a few minutes. Hell, even having a shower can quickly become rather painful and tiring! For those at home wondering how big this beast is, it is the size of a watermelon... but this one won't be surgically removed (too risky) and is the one that I have been told will eventually kill me over the next few years and the aim of the chemo is to try and shrink it or stop it from growing before it causes too much damage.
The tumour that was removed last week was the size of a rockmelon (see image below of side on view of my stomach) and has since left me with not only a huge cave-in of my stomach but a new stoma which I am trying to adapt to but it is proving to be a challenge.
Surgeons are usually reluctant to remove these tumours due to their aggressive recurrence and because the more surgery you have the more chances for more tumours to appear, especially when you have a genetic pre-disposition to these tumours caused by FAP.
But, the reason my tumour was removed was because it was dying inside (turning necrotic) and was causing infections, ulcers and fevers and it was decided that it was best to remove the tumour now in hopes of preventing further issues and to make me better enough to FINALLY resume chemo to work on the other beast.
So I have been in hospital since New Years Day back home in Coffs Harbour with the exception of a week where I got to go home, but then I was readmitted there for 10 days while I waited for a transfer to Sydney to have surgery. So I got to Sydney via air ambulance on Tuesday the 9th of Feb and had my surgery on the 15th of Feb.
The surgery went well and I was up walking the next day and had impressed the doctors so much (and myself for that matter) with how well I was doing that they were ready to send me home last Thursday. But my swelling went down on my stomach, and my stoma changed too and my bags no longer were sticking and getting a good seal so it kept leaking.... and leaking... and bloody leaking!
In a 24 hour period from Thursday to Friday I had experienced about 8-10 bag changes, I lost count, and my poor skin was so raw and sore it was quite uncomfortable. Then Friday to Saturday I had almost 24 hours without a leak, then the last 24 hours have experienced about 6 bag leaks and my skin is so sore I just want to cry!
It is so hard adapting to this new stoma, especially when it is so different comparitatively in size. My old stoma I miss so much as it worked and very rarely leaked, where as this one is so small and it is now sitting in a crease in my stomach where I never had a crease before the surgery, but worst of all it has become retracted and is under my skin.
As I said, I am REALLY missing my old stoma and struggling to like or adapt or feel confident with this new one. I know I needed my tumour removed and I know long term it should prove beneficial, but I am struggling to see the ostomisticness right now... which I feel like such a fraud as my blog is called 'optimism with a stoma'...
I know I have gone through this before, it was 8 weeks of constant leaks before I found the bags that worked for me and then I fell in love with my stoma and the new life and freedom it gave me... but I miss that freedom and confidence and just hope I can perservere and one day will fall in love with this new stoma too.
It was almost three years that I had my first stoma, it had become such a huge part of me and who I am and I know this will sound strange but I do feel a little bit of grief and loss over my stoma. I am not only grieving for my stoma but my independence, dignity, confidence and freedom.
If my tumour hadn't attached itself to my small bowel and stoma I wouldn't have lost such a HUGE chunk of small bowel, and they would have had more bowel to work with to create this new stoma rather than opening me up to dig more bowel out and opening me up for more risks of tumours and complications.
I know it is a process of trial and error, I just have to get through this next bit to fully accept my new stoma.
Thursday, February 04 2016
NB: Some images of my stoma and ulcer might be confronting, proceed with caution view at your own risk
For the past month I have been dealing with a new challenge in relation to my stoma.... not that changing my stoma bag isn't enough of a challenge but I have had to deal with an ulcer that had formed mere centimetres from my stoma and required a lot of attention.
I was in hospital early January (the day after New Years) with an infected portacath, and I did a bag change before I went off to surgery and there was this giant ulcer which just more or less appeared near my stoma.
Boy was it sore!
It was fairly deep and over the first week or two was painful to touch but thankfully 5 weeks later, the ulcer has almost fully healed.
But it was certainly confronting and I learnt some new techniques and products (which have become a lifesaver).
I also owe a lot of thanks to my stoma nurse, without her advice and knowledge I would not have known what to do, and luckily she has had plenty of experiences with ulcers near stomas and knew what to do.
I don't want you to feel alarmed or worried that you too will get an ulcer, mine just happened to be caused from a necrotic tumour that is dying and causing an infection under my skin, and that infection was trying to break out to the surface and the pressure formed an ulcer. I hope you aren't unlucky and don't endure this, but hopefully I can share my experience and tips that might help you too.
Some of the products I recently learnt how to use and some application tips:
#1 - Prontosan
Application: We soaked some cloth in the solution and then placed the saturated cloth over the wound for around 5 minutes, letting it soak in
#2 - Kaltostat
#3 - Coloplast stoma paste
#4 - Eakin Cohesive seals
-----> Now I applied my stoma bag and secured it with the elastic tape seals and now I was ready to face the world
If you're in Australia, these products (minus the prontosan and kaltostat) can be ordered through your ostomy association if you need some assistance be sure to ask your stoma nurse.
I highly suggest if you do get an ulcer or experience skin breakdown near your stoma that you seek the help and advice from your nurse or doctors. My blog is merely a sharing of my experience and tips and I am not a healthcare professional.
Thursday, December 17 2015
November (like October) involved not as much chemo as I would have liked and meant more time spent in hospital.
NOV 3RD, 2015: Had chemo today, was the first day in 3 weeks that I have had it was also Melbourne Cup day. I felt rather seedy the following day(s) and rather tired. Even the blandest of foods I couldn't stomach and wasn't until a few days after chemo that I actually ate something. I actually ended up being admitted into hospital on the 5th of November with fevers and suspected infection somewhere. I had a CT scan which showed my tumours haven't shrunk but they hadn't grown much.
NOV 10TH, 2015: No chemo today as I was in hospital
NOV 17TH, 2015: Had chemo today, was the first day in a fortnight I had chemo. My mum picked me up early and we went and had lunch by Mangrove Jacks, it is this really lovely restaurant situated on Coffs Creek and is majestic.. such a tranquil spot! Was rather funny at lunch there were these seagulls in the water being chased by big fish, the poor birds were paddling their little legs as fast as they could to get away!
My port bled today for the first time in ever, which had me excited that maybe all the issues of my port were behind me. I did wake this morning to a bunch of sweet texts from my sister (14) and brother (18) wishing me best of luck for chemo. I am loving the family support recently, it is reasurring knowing you're not along in this huge battle.
I started some new medication today, my oncologist prescribed me lorazapam which I am to take the night before chemo, the night after I have had chemo, and the day after I have chemo which will hopefully help keep my body calm and works well with my other medications he gives me during chemo like ondanzatron.
I had fevers a couple of days after chemo, but with some panadol I was able to manage the fevers at home, but have been sufferring bad with kidney pain and migraines.
NOV 24TH, 2015: Didn't have chemo today, they tried to use my port but it wouldn't even flush saline through! I went and had a portagram done, which is a scan of your port to see if it is working and turns out the thing is blocked! I have to come back on Thursday (26th) and have a procedure done to unblock it.
I decided to wear my storm troopers headwrap to chemo today along with my Dior lippy I got from Look Good Feel Better workshop (loving the pink!). I got a lovely compliment from the volunteer today, she said "you always look pretty with your hair wraps". A compliment from a stranger always makes you feel better.
NOV 26TH, 2015: Today I am having my port unblocked. It is a surgery that requires the doctor to make an incision into my groin and going in through the artery he can feed a cable up past my heart and chest and to my neck where my port is and unblock it. The surgery went well and was a success and the port started bleeding back. The surgeon also was able to reposition the port so it wasn't sitting so high up.
I woke up half way through the procedure and it was rather bizarre just laying there not able to feel anything but know that you are being poked and prodded.
Once I was awake, I had to stay in bed for an hour to reduce any complications post surgery and then I was allowed to sit in a chair, have a sandwhich and wait for a couple of hours before I could be discharged.
The incision site was rather sore for a couple of days and chemo will be scheduled for next Tuesday (1st Dec).
Even though it is month two of this chemo saga, it is only something like 4 days (cycles) I have had of chemo because of all the interruptions such as surgeries, port not working and being in hospital. Here's hoping things go a bit more smoothly next month... I am a bit anxious about Christmas and hope to be able to spend it with my family.
Monday, November 16 2015
Hi and welcome to Chemo Diaries: My experience, which will be a monthly series of posts written like a diary about my experience as I undergo chemo. This is the first month post and is also for the month of October, 2015.
Thankfully there is heaps of information out there to help understand the type of cancer treatment you need and how it will effect you. I have found CanTeen have some great resources for helping me to understand what to expect from my cancer journey (even booklets on fertility after treatment). Other great places of information I have found are from the Cancer Council as well as the chemo education sessions I attended at my local cancer centre.
As I read in the Canteen booklet "Your guide to dealing with cancer ages 16-24", chemotherapy (chemo) is one of the more commonly used methods to treat cancer and it works by using drugs called cytotoxics to kill or slow the growth of cancer cells. As explained in the booklet (and from my own experience) chemo also kills your good cells too, making you feel very sick, fatigued, and also why you lose your hair (I am yet to experience hair loss). I also experienced really painful mouth ulcers recently (was so bad I couldn't eat, read more about that below).
Initially I was planned on having monthly doses of Caelyx but after a severe (almost-died-reaction) to it my oncologists decided on weekly doses of Methotrexate and Vinblastine combination to try and shrink these tumours, and as my oncologist explained "to help give me relief to enjoy each day".
I didn't go into chemo with the expectation that one day I will be cured and tumour free, I know that isn't my reality and I don't want to have unrealistic expectations. But I just want my tumours to shrink enough so I can FINALLY be pain free and enjoy what is left of my short life. I have so much I want to still do (read about my happy list here) and I hope to be well enough one day to travel.
My experience so far:
This concludes my first month of chemo experiences ranging from my portacath surgery to starting two different chemo regimes and as my husband said to me recently, "I know it is horrible right now, but the sad thing is you will get used to feeling like shit... just imagine when chemo is all over and you will look back and think 'It is good not to feel that crappy'. If anyone can do this, you can".
I love that he has so much faith in my strength, although I constantly wonder and feel like I am not strong enough to do this.... my husband is like my own personal cheerleader! I don't think I could have done this without his support...
One month down, just 11 more to go!
Tuesday, November 10 2015
One thing that I am learning more and more each day as I progress through my chemo regime is just how much fatigue I have and how little energy. I am realising the need and importance for energy conservation and working on improving this for myself and hoping to share a blog post to help others too, afterall being chronically sick is exhausting.
Another thing that is exhausting is dealing with the emotional side of living daily with a chronic and terminal illness.
I realised yesterday, that in order to help conserve my energy and to prevent just how exhausted I am feeling today, that I should try and keep my mental breakdowns and panic attacks to a mininum or at least save it for the times that need it most, or best yet to wait until you have all the facts and a confirmation from your primary care physicians before freaking out.
This is what happened yesterday and the lead up to it.
Monday 09.11.15 1PM AEST:
I left there trying to hold it together as I was hoping it was a fluid cavity as that could be fixed with a surgery and drain, but a new tumour I couldn't handle.
Monday 09.11.15 3PM:
I felt like the biggest dickhead ever and felt horrible for causing my family further heartache, but my heart was broken as I was told the wrong misinformed information and I hadn't yet seen my primary doctors to have it all confirmed.
To my followers that were supporting me yesterday during my freakout, I am so appreciative of your help and sorry for an undue stresses caused for worrying about me... It was not a cry for attention I legit thought I was on the brink of dying (so scary).
Much love to you all x
Tell me in the comments below, a time where you freaked out before knowing all the facts
Friday, October 16 2015
Earlier this month on the 2nd of October, I travelled the three hours south of Coffs Harbour to Port Macquarie where I had an operation to put in my portacath (port for short) for ease of use/access during chemo.
I just realised how funny that I had to go to Port to get a port (HAHA).
I spoke with a couple of friends who I met through Canteen that have gone through treatment and I asked them how they got their chemo. One said she first had it via a drip in her arm then got a port put in and loved it, and my other friend had a Hickman line.
I had met with the vascular surgeon and he showed me the port I was getting, which was this awesome metallic purple Power Port and given purple is my favourite colour I thought that it was the coolest thing ever, although my doctor thought I was weird given that you won't see it as it is under your skin... but knowing it is there and that it is purple is all that matters!
On the day of the surgery:
The night after surgery:
How is the port accessed?
It turned out the needle was defective, so they tried a new needle and it worked using the head turned far to the left and coughing tricks.
I have since had my port accessed multiple times during chemo, but also for fluids when I have presented to the Emergency Department with dehydration and fevers.
For more information on ports and if it is best suited to you or your chemo regime speak with your oncologist or your chemo nurse who can provide you with booklets and information.
Saturday, September 26 2015
NB: This post contains raw emotions
I am sitting here writing this approximately 3 days out of having my first round of chemo, and if I said I wasn't shitting myself, I would be lying and quite possibly with my pants alight.
You see, even though I have known for a while now (little over 3 weeks) that I would be needing chemo I thought that I was okay with it and had accepted it, and that I was ready, but the more meetings I have with my oncologists and chemo nurses and waiting for vascular surgeon to put in my portacath and the more involved this process gets, the more overwhelmed I get.
It all started earlier this month, I went to Sydney and met with my oncologist to review my beastly desmoid tumours, and it was concluded that it was time to try chemotherapy to shrink these tumours after all other options had been exhausted.
My oncologist told me I would be needing to have a drug called Caelyx, which is predominately used to treat breast cancers but has had some clinical trials where it has been effective in the fight against desmoid tumours.
So I left the Sydney appointment with the relief of knowing that I can have chemo back home and would need to organise a local oncologist, which I first met with on the 17th of September. In this meeting I was blown away with how thorough he was and he knew EVERYTHING about my history and I was really impressed with how much research he had done into my rare tumours and disease.
It turns out that the chemo that I NEED to save my life comes at a price. You see, the drug currently isn't on the PBS (Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme) and is $6,000 AUD per dose of chemo, meaning I would be needing to come up with $36k, which I don't have.
So I called my Private Health Insurer, who told me that "we only cover chemotheraphy if done as an inpatient and if it is on the PBS, unfortunately we can't cover your chemo". I was so upset and started considering what my options were.
My oncologist presented three options to me, these were:
By this point it was a Thursday and I was told that I had until Monday to make my decision.
After talking at length with my husband and family, and writing a pro's and con's list I decided that we will go with option 3.
I got a phone call on Tuesday morning from my oncologist to say that the drug company has responded and approved 3 initial treatments and pre-approved a further 3 more, so 6 treatments in total!
I was so relieved I was crying and calling my husband and family to tell them the great news, I felt like I had won the lottery! Honestly!
Because of how rare my disease and tumours are, if this drug works for me then it might help other people with the same disease and options, and might provide some hope to those who feel all has been lost.
While I am so appreciative for the chemo being supplied, I am trying not to get my hopes up ..... if it doesn't work I really don't know how I could cope if I felt that all hope is lost, as it stands I am petrified of my future and what my life will entail for the next 12 months, and I am just praying that this works.
My husband and I have attended chemo education sessions, so we know what to expect and what is involved, just being only a few days out of starting chemo I am shitting myself, and finding myself feeling rather anxious, angry and scared.
... If I click my heals together 3 times and imagine a secluded beach in paradise, with Ryan Gosling serving me cocktails while topless, will I be transported there?
...CLICK.... ......CLICK....... ......CLICK......
Maybe it only works if you're wearing glittery red heels?
P.S I need your help! While my chemo is being generously supplied, I am struggling financially with all of the other medical costs (scans, medications, specialist consults) as well as getting to and from chemo and trying to manage life in general, things are a bit tight..
Friday, September 04 2015
Recently, I was filling in one of those online question surveys that was for a cosmetic surgery company (I really wanted to win the cash prize) and while there were the usual questions about if you have considered cosmetic surgery before, there were also questions about your self esteem and self worth.
One question that stumped me, was "if there was one thing you could change about yourself, what would it be and why?"... and the answer may surprise you, I know it surprised me!
I have never been someone who has considered undergoing cosmetic surgery in order to change how I feel about myself, and while I don't judge those who do, I just feel if you're unhappy with who you are now that it might not necessarily change after you've spent thousands on surgeries... it might make you feel worse if it didn't have the desired effect.
But mostly, I have already had so many surgeries and medical procedures because of the cards I've been dealt with that personally, I just don't want to put my body under the knife if it isn't needed. I have wanted a boob reduction, but that is mostly because my boobs are like a double J or something (no exaggeration) and it gets harder and harder to find bras and is so uncomfortable... but that isn't the one thing I would change.
I gave this answer some serious thought, and I thought about all of my physical "flaws" and imperfections and which one I would change.. I thought about my boobs and while they are huge and heavy they keep me warm (I do get cold very easily)... I thought about my eyes which are so wonky that my husband never knows if I am looking at him or around him (and I have to tilt my head slightly in pictures so you don't notice one eye is bigger than the other)...
My endometriosis crossed my mind, and I felt the all too familiar pains that it (like my FAP) has taken a lot from me... I thought about if I didn't have my endometriosis if I would have had a family by now and if I would make a good mum, to imagining a life where each month I'm not crippled with pain from the endo... and I even imagined what it would be like to have sex and ACTUALLY enjoy it... as opposed to how it has been for me the entire time I have been sexually active.. it not only is extremely painful during intercourse but afterwards it feels like there are thousands of knives stabbing at my insides (so you can imagine how hard it can be for your husband to know that while it brings him pleasure it is torture for you to endure... and then he can't help but feel bad about it... then you feel bad for making him feel bad... it is a horrible cycle).
OR is the one thing I would change about myself, my desmoid tumours? I am in constant pain everyday and finding it harder to enjoy things as I am just so exhausted from being in pain and worrying about my tumours. I am scared of what will happen if these tumours don't respond to chemotherapy this month and what this means for me... My kidneys are starting to go into renal damage, my tumours are pressing on my spine/stomach and sciatic nerve, and then there are two tumours which are close to strangling my small bowel and I haven't any large bowel (if my small bowel dies I might too).
OR would I want to change my weight because apparantly if you're overweight you can't be happy within yourself... while I am trying to lose weight it wouldn't be the one thing I changed about myself.
I thought about all of my scars that I have from my various surgeries and how they make me feel... and they mostly make me feel empowered like I am a tough bitch and it is almost somehow like proof of that time that I had to face an adversity but before I could get through it I had to first climb the huge mountain that was blocking me from it.... each of my scar bears a story to be told... and some of my scars show a sign of the battle faced.
Like the scar under my chin, which I got on the last day of Kindergarten in 1996 when I was so excited for losing my first tooth the night before. I had gotten $10 (the tooth fairy was rather generous) and I was skipping along not noticing the water overflow from the bubblers.. when... spalt! My head greeted the concrete and was taken to hospital to get stictches.. I was such a brave girl I got 6 stitches, a story to tell ANNND I got to choose a toy as a 'what a brave girl you were' gift...
Or the scar that runs from just under my breasts to just above my hoo-ha.. a daily reminder of just how lucky I was to have my bowel cancer detected early and underwent a total colectomy.. a scar that while it is huge and bumpy (and growing tumours attached to it) that it is a HUGE part of who I have become and a testament of how far I have come in the last 2 years...
...Which brings me to my ileostomy.
While some might assume that I might loathe my ileostomy everyday (albeit some days it gives me the shits), my ileostomy is something I can't imagine living without, and am so appreciative for it stands for. Prior to my total colectomy, trips to the toilet were agonising and often I spent hours on end just sitting in the bathroom in a lot of pain and often house bound... leaving the house meant that my trips needed to be carefully planned around where the nearest toilets would be, or avoiding eating foods for the horrific, painful and explosive events that were to follow.
The thing I LOVE the most about my ileostomy is that it had given me my life back and a quality of life I haven't had in about 10 years or so.. it meant I could now eat and enjoy foods without being in agony.. it also meant reducing one of my many cancer risks.
So if my ileostomy ISN'T the one thing I would change about myself, then what must it be?
Simply put, I would like to change the expectations, standard and pressures I put on myself because I need to remember that I'm not a superhero and I AM doing the best that I can... I need to give myself a break and be kinder to myself.
Something to remember...
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
Sunday, August 30 2015
There is something about being chronically sick and told you're essentially "a ticking time bomb" that really helps to put things into perspective.
When I was first diagnosed with FAP in 2010 (I was 19), I was told that I wouldn't be at risk of bowel cancer until I was 30. It made me realise just how much I wanted to do and achieve while I still could.
Then in late 2012, I found out the polyps in my bowel were turning cancerous and that I only had a matter of months to act and have all of my bowel removed. You would think that this would cause more of an alarm and prompt me to want to do a lot more with my life, but as the bowel cancer risk was removed, I naively thought that my risk of cancer would be removed and I could get on with my life..
But boy was I wrong.... My cancer journey didn't end there. In fact, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer earlier this year too which thankfully was successfully removed in April while it was still in the stage I phase, remained contained within my thyroid meaning it hadn't reached nearby neck tissues.
It wasn't until a year ago that I had this drive and motivation to want to do everything I have ever only imagined in day dreams, was re-ignited and has been a continual driving force (and distraction this past year). It made me realise that while I was content with my life and my accomplishments so far, that I didn't feel entirely happy, and I knew that there was more I wanted to do and see.
So I decided I would write a happy list, as opposed to a bucket list for one of two reasons:
What was the changing point for me, was when I was in hospital for pancreatitis when the doctors did a CT scan that revealed there was this new and rather large tumour and suspected it was a desmoid tumour. These types of tumours are really rare, but they can also be rather deadly and life threatening and these 'aggressive fibromatosis' can cause death.
To put it bluntly, when I was first diagnosed with FAP my doctors said that they "hope that you don't develop desmoid tumours... if it isn't the cancer from the FAP that kills you the desmoid tumours will".
So while I am only 24, I have come to terms with the fact that this condition will kill me, I just don't know when. Some doctors mentioned up to a year if the tumours continue to grow at the rate they currently are (thankfully last lost of treatment is keeping them at bay and no new growth) but others have said 5-6 years.
#2. Sense of accomplishment and fulfilment (purpose/direction)
#3. Is more empowering and motivating
#4. Offers inclusion of others
#5. Works as a distraction
Things on my happy list include (in no particular order):
I know some of these may sound over the top, and I admit they are but if you're going to dream you might as well dream big as well as being realistic... now if I could just find the next multimillion dollar idea, I will be well on my way to taking over the world (not quite literal).
So tell me, do you have a happy list and what is one thing you want to mark off your list? Feel free to comment below.