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Feeling Ostomistic
Saturday, October 27 2018

This is not a paid advert or collaboration, just me finding a great deal to pass on.

I have tried all year since reading the Barefoot Investor to find savings where I could through reviewing our bills and that with other providers and even had power panels installed through an interest free payment offer.

One of the bills that has been bugging me, is my pet insurance for Dusty, I know many think it is a waste of money to insure your pet but it is something that could help save big costs. With Dusty's breed of cat, we were recommended by a vet nurse to get insurance and go through Pet Plan.

We signed up a policy when he came to live with us going on 2 years ago to this date and at the time the plan was great and affordable at $36 roughtly a month. But once the 12 months were up the policy jumped up, and then up again and now is sitting around the $63 a month, almost doubling and I am no longer feeling confident with our policy. We haven't needed to use it yet but it was a large cost that had doubled for almost no reason.

So I was on Kogan the other night looking for a gift for Russ for Xmas, when I saw an advert for pet insurance and was curious. I was intrigued by the first month free, but also that the plans looked similar to what I was paying currently with Petplan but at a much lower rate. 


^^See, isn't it an adorable advert, I mean effective, but who can resist those eyes! (screen shot of their site)

I signed up and emailed to cancel my petplan and pray that Dusty doesn't get sick and needs a vet, but at least if he does we have cover.

Best of all, it is now only $39 roughly a month instead of $63 and to our budget and pocket that is a big saving!

I am interested in learning more about their mobile and internet plans, 2 years until our contracts are up but never too early to research options.

That is our power reduced, our pet insurance, our car insurance and our home and contents insurances this year, I think I have done well to make a little savings in each policy.

I always feel productive when I have done some adulting, Russ is even happier if it comes in under budget. Or when Xmas comes early...


He was so stoked and keen to stumble across his Xmas gift early from ToyDeals.com.au

Oh and as for Russell's Xmas present (the whole reason I was on Kogan to begin with), I ended up finding it on a different site for $30 cheaper, it arrived on his day off and he opened it and started setting up before I had realised, so now he has his Xmas gift and he loved it. It was a pokemon go lego like (mega construx) and was a big gyuarados (the evolved form of Magicarp) so Russ has been happy. Found it on ToyDeals.com.au for $30 plus post, but still was cheaper than most sites, quick to arrive too (couple of days too). also not a paid mention, just a damn good find!


Russ focussing as he builds his Gyarados

 
The finished Gyrados from ToyDeals.com.au

Crazy that Christmas is so close, it also means that the Share the dignity #itsinthebag promotion is on soon too, better get started on that myself. I am not anywhere near organised this year!

Disclaimer: I was not paid or asked to write about this, I found and paid for this plan myself and thought it was a great buy to pass on to you, always read the PDS to make sure the product is right for you. 

Posted by: Talya AT 01:03 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Tuesday, August 07 2018

Tomorrow is Dying to know Day, which is an initiative to encourage people to openly talk about their end of life wishes but to also become better educated and informed about the decisions to be made.

There are 556 events happening all around the country (Aus), to see if there is an event near you click here.


Poster from Dying to know day

I recently discovered that there are death doulas/death midwives, who help to assist people with their end of life decisions. I am hoping to collaborate on some posts soon with one and share more information about the services but also about being better informed, such as planning your funeral could save you thousands if done in advance, and I am interested in learning about that! So stay tuned for that collab.

75% of the population have not had end of life discussions or discussed their needs, even for something as important as organ and tissue donation. If you have chosen it on your drivers license you still need to register via the donate life site, it takes less than a minute to sign up and you could save many lives.

I know that many find the topic of talking about death confronting or it is rather taboo, but I know for me I want my wishes heard and understood so that when the time comes I hope others know in advance what I want, such as to be at my own home not hospital, and that I hope by having my funeral planned it can save my family the stress of it as they grieve. It also gives me peace of mind that I am getting what I wanted, which I know I won't be there but I still want to know my needs are voiced.

Take this time today, even if you aren't sick and facing your mortality early, to have a conversation with your loved ones, to consider checking your will is up to date and your power of attorney are valid, also checking that your advanced care directive is fulfilled. Tell your family if you want to be an organ/tissue donor and tell them what sort of life celebration you want to be had in your honour. 

Also take this time today to become more aware of your options and choices available.

If you're wanting to know a place to start in terms of death literacy and being death aware, this is a link to a list of resources available via dying to know day called "the big list".

For an interview with a death doula on why they believe everyone should have a death plan, you can read more here.

But do spend tomorrow writing a list of your own ideas or needs, and take the time to talk with your loved ones too.

There are plenty of events happening around the country, quite a few in regional NSW too, closest is Port Macquarie for me, but I don't imagine I could get there tomorrow. But palliative care are coming for their usual visit so I plan on making sure my documents are up to date.

However you spend your Dying to Know day, I hope it is a good day!

 

Posted by: Talya AT 02:02 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Monday, May 14 2018

NB: SORRY THIS IS OPEN FOR AUSTRALIAN READERS ONLY

It is here!!! It is finally here, the time you've all been promised is here.....

Introducing the:

Epic self care and self love package for one to be won by one of you!!

Firstly, thank you to all of our kind and generous businesses without whom this would not be as epic or love fuelled as it possible is.

✰ To see all the prizes - click here

To enter the competion:
Please do so below via the widget answering a question which will be judged by a panel of secret judges chosen by myself.
♥ Then please like or follow the businesses on instagram and/or facebook by clicking on the links below, as a way of saying thanks. 
  Please note : THIS IS OPEN FOR AUSTRALIAN READERS ONLY, sorry
♥ YOU have a week to enter, comp closes next Wednesday 13th June! So hurry!

You'll love their feeds!

Feeling Ostomistic Epic Self Care for One giveaway

Please Visit and like/follow the following businesses:

1. ✰ Gorgeous By Carly: click here for facebook     click here for instagram

2. ✰ Sugorma: click here for facebook     click here for instagram

3. ✰ Chatterbox_City: click here for facebook     click here for instagram

4. ✰ The Love Letter Co: click here for facebook     click here for instagram

5. ✰ Sophie Guidolin: click here for facebook     click here for instagram

6. ✰ Pink Pom Pom Printables: click here for facebook     click here for instagram

7. ✰ Salty Fox Co: click here for facebook     click here for instagram

8. ✰ The Scenic Route: click here for facebook     click here for instagram

9. ✰ Kiss and Co: click here for facebook     click here for instagram

I am so excited to offer this, and remember it is only for a week only, so hurry!! Due to postage restrictions this prize is only available for Australian readers.

Posted by: Talya AT 10:02 pm   |  Permalink   |  4 Comments  |  Email
Friday, January 19 2018

I had wanted to write about this topic so many times last year, but each time I feared if I did it could somehow come across that I am some angry hermit who doesn't like visitors. 

I don't claim to talk on behalf of all the people who are chronically or terminally sick, I simply am sharing mine (and my husband's) views of how we feel when you have surprise visits. Sometimes surprise or short noticed visits are difficult and stressful, you mightn't realise but there are reasons that make surprise visits difficult.

It could be very easy for you and your loved one who is sick to know how you can better support them and what things or actions don't help them. Finding how they feel about their needs or issues and how you can better help could be a starting point so you both can understand.

It is hard when you're chronically (and also in my case) terminally sick and trying to navigate the waters of keeping up appearances, being social and people visiting often surprised and unnanounced. I know people care and they decide as a last minute thing that they wanted to visit me for the day but don't bother telling me as "it is fun to surprise you" thinking it will make me feel great about myself having visitors, but they don't realise surprise visits cause me a lot of stress and anxiety which I explain below.

Don't get me wrong, I like when people visit but only if 2 conditions are met:
#1. I have notice and #2. Providing I am feeling up for it.

There were a few times over the past couple of years when people had surprised visited me and despite continually asking for no surprise visits, they still happened.

Family and friends were outside waiting and were upset and bothered when I didn't answer the door, because I was asleep and had my phone turned off so I could sleep.

I NEED notice when it comes to having visitors for a few reasons.

#1. I sleep a lot:
I'm not lazy, I am sometimes tired of having to explain and justify my pain or tiredness, but there are days if not weeks or months where I am asleep and resting. I turn my phone off on my bad days or when I have had very little sleep and need un disturbed sleep. So telling me the day before gives me notice for then being able to make sure I am up and ready if I am ready.

#2. My stoma leaks a lot:
My stoma leaks a lot, 95% of the time when I wake I am dealing with leaks. It is really stressful when woken and knowing people are outside knocking and waiting/expecting me. It is something that makes me anxious when I do realise people are waiting for me, as if I am home alone I have to try and deal with a leaking stoma whilist trying to get to the front door quickly (often I miss the postie or courier and have to drive to Coffs to get my parcel). It is also why I get upset when Palliative care would randomly rock up without telling me and then were cranky when I wasn't home to answer the door when I was, I was just in bed asleep... so when my stoma leaks it can take me time to get ready. It means needing to get dressed and cleaned up and clean my linens if needed. It is something that I can need time to be ready, and knowing someone is outside waiting for ages makes me feel more flustered.

#3. I often sleep starkers:
Because my stoma leaks a lot, it is just easier to sleep with either no clothes on or just undies and no PJ pants. Sometimes I wear a top sometimes just undies and no top... so it is less laundry to wash because guaranteed my stoma leaks often in the middle of the night or when I wake and it is hard to have to strip down while trying to do a bag change - all while magically avoiding making a mess! If it is just going to be me home it is best if I know if anyone is coming so that I can have notice and get a chance to get ready. When you surprise rock up it can be hard as my clean clothes could be in the laundry (in the dryer) and I have to try and get through the house with just a dressing gown on and hope if you're outside waiting that you don't catch my streak through the house to get my clothes.... so I need notice if you plan on coming for obvious reasons.

#4. I am often in pain and bedridden:
When Russ leaves for work of a morning he shuts and locks the door as he walks out. So sometimes if I know someone is coming to visit I would ask him to leave the door unlocked and shut. If this is a day when I am barely able to get out of bed it can be stressful knowing someone will arrive and I can't exactly get up to open the door. I was criticised last year (well, 2016 too) when I wasn't much of a host and "don't make people feel comfortable or welcome" because I can't be a host. I think it is hard for people to understand that it is painful and difficult to stand and walk let alone be a hostess. If you come and visit, please have zero expectations of what I am meant to do... don't expect me to go above and beyond to impress you. I am not being rude, you might think I am, but if you wanted a cuppa help yourself. 

On days when I am bedridden I would love visits, providing you are understanding that I am in bed and you can sit in my room chatting with me. But don't expect me to get up and entertain you, defeats the point of being in bed resting. Don't ask "when are you getting up" or "why aren't you getting up" because it makes me want to kick you up the butt if I could because I don't need to justify myself to anyone.

#5. I can't just simply duck out to the shops:
If you just surprise visit me and I don't know you're coming, you very well could be having a cuppa without milk. Some days Russ will make his coffee for the day in his thermos and takes it to work, it is a guzzler for milk. So its very likely that he uses the last of his milk as he leaves for work knowing full well that he has to buy milk when he finishes work in the evening.

If you arrive and we don't know in advance, even if you tell me in the morning, if Russ has already left for work it is too late. I don't have a car and can't drive much anymore, so if you surprised me it would mean I wouldn't have milk or cake or anything and would be a terrible host (again) and I would be feeling so anxious all day if you arrived worried that am I going to hear about this from others about how I am a horrible host... I don't mind if you do turn up unnanouced, just don't be upset if I don't have milk or coffee and can't get to the shops.

#6. I need a chance to cancel:
I always will try and attend something regardless, but there are times when I am in too much pain or phsyically unable to attend. Giving me warning and time in advance of a visit gives me the chance to cancel within reason. If I had notice I could tell you ahead of time to not waste your petrol in coming up if I wasn't up for the visit, I would hate you to be disappointed with your visit or feel like I wasted your time. If you surprise visit me I can't give you the chance to avoid being disappointed with me.

#7. Our house mightn't be visitor friendly:
The entire household chores and running falls mostly on Russ' shoulders. He also works full time. He has a roster system of how he does the house, one day he does the rubbish and kitty litter (and every second day) and some days he would do the bathrooms or vacuum. If you surprise visit us, we will feel embarassed because the kitty litter might be due to be done that day or the rubbish. It can be hard when you surprise visit that I am anxious if you are judging us the entire visit and will go off and tell others about how we live, which has happened, and makes us less inclined to invite you back. 

I could go on about scenarios, there is so many more.

But I do love a visit, just prefer at least a couple of days notice at the very least to make sure the house is ready or that if you're staying the guest rooms are ready. You can visit, please just understand that turning up and surprising me isn't what works best for us. 

I know it is hard to understand, but please do reconsider and try to give us as much notice for when you want to visit. I want to have a nice visit with you but I don't want either of us to feel uncomfortable.

If you do decide to that day or morning to visit, please give me as much notice as you can. If you arrived in Coffs at 9am but aren't visiting until 4pm Don't wait until 3pm to call me! Tell me first thing so I can have time to assess if I am up for a visit or under what terms. If you don't hear back from me or Russ before 4 hours before you're planning on visiting then it might not be the best day. If you don't hear from me, try Russ. 

But if Russ says "today isn't the best day she isn't well" please respect his call.

Don't continue to turn up and then be upset if you're outside waiting for me for a while and I am asleep and don't know you're there until an hour after you've sat out there waiting. If you haven't heard a conifrmation at least 4 hours before arriving on if I am aware you're coming or if it is the right time, than maybe it isn't the most apporpriate time for a visit.

Again, none of this is said to upset anyone, I want visitors I really do - I just don't do well with surprise visits. My health IS declining and I am spending more time in bed, so surprise visits really aren't ideal for us anymore. #sorrynotsorry

As I said, ask your loved one how you can support them and what they need from you, in my case try to avoid surprise or unnanounced visits.

Posted by: Talya AT 10:19 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Friday, January 12 2018

I know I have chirped on and on (and on) about how we are struggling financially and that I am concerned about when I die and if Russ can manage it on his own. I know you're probably sick of hearing me go on about it, but it honestly is so stressful.

It is hard being on one income, I know it is overwhelming for Russ too.

So last week we got a letter from our bank informing me that as of today (the 12th) our mortgage will be going up $500 a month.

This really scares me.

Not only do I not know where I am going to pluck that extra $500 from this month considering we are already halfway through the month, but that I really am so stressed and upset.

Yes, I acknowledge my priviledge in that we have our own mortgage, but even when we were renting things were hard and the rent assistance really made the world of difference when it came to our budget. But it doesn't mean that things instantly became easier when we got out mortgage. I didn't realise how much harder it was to have your own place.

I see how worried Russ is over this and I know he is on the fritz of losing it as it was before this letter, now he is just even more stressed. I feel so guilty, I know it isn't my fault and that I couldn't help getting sick but it is my age old issue with that I should have gotten life insurance earlier or made more of an effort to do extra super contributions when I worked as it would mean I have more than $3000 in super.... which I am still fighting to get out mind you.

Argh.

That is a fight for another day.

My Solution:

Yesterday I got a copy of Barefoot investor in the mail (thanks to a beautiful friend buying and sending me this copy) and started reading it, I have heard everyone rave about it and how effective it truly is, so it gives me hope for the first time that maybe I can get things under control this year.


So many have raved about the books!

It is one of my goals to get things neater for Russ, I don't know how much time I have and I think it will just be a massive peace of mind to know it is under control.

We have our mortgage, debts, car loan plus our other bills. So I try each year to review things to see if there is savings to be found, so I am hopeful that this book will help me even more.

Plus, it is one of my goals to read more too, so this is already tackling my goals for the year.... maybe this year is getting off to a stressful start but it might be turning around? Always hopeful that things will get better, surely they have to?

A friend has put me in touch with a broker and hoping we can find a new bank with a better rate and can consolidate our debt which will mean freeing up a lot of weekly expenditure and might mean we can afford to start saving.

So tell me, have you read the book? Did it help you? What was the biggest take away you had from it?

I will let you know when I have finished reading it and what progress I make.... until then, wish me luck!

We also got Solar Panels on recently, they had a 5 year interest free offer, so we are really hoping that on our next bill we can see a difference, otherwise I am going to be rather upset. Russ assures me we will be better off and that it will improve the value of our home too. Do you have solar panels and do you see a difference? Next bill is March, so will let you know if there were savings to be had.

As always, thank you for listening and wish me luck as I tackle this mammoth task!

What goals are you hoping to tackle this year?

 

Posted by: Talya AT 07:35 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Friday, January 12 2018

I was scrolling through my Facebook 'on this day' memories when a post from this day, 5 years ago, came up.

The post was:

You see, I had a pretty MASSIVE and life changing decision that needed to be made.

I was told not long before Xmas 2012, that I had early signs of bowel cancer and that I needed to have a surgery called a total colectomy with a permanent (end) ileostomy created.

I was so scared, I was so alone and I didn't know of ANY other people with an ileostomy let alone a young person with one.

I was 21, why should I have known anyone, afterall I was ignorant and thought just older people lived with stoma bags, it was hard to fathom a young person living with one.

I ignorantly made this association as I presumed that people had a stoma at the end of their life and that their lives are essentially over.

So when I was told that I would be needing one at 21, for the rest of my life, I was really freaking out.

I tried to search for blogs about young people with an ostomy and couldn't find anyone. Social media wasn't what it is today, there was Instagram but it hadn't taken off, but there was still so much stigma around living with an ostomy and the social stigma too for that matter, that not many were sharing their lives publicly.

The media wasn't helping much when it came to sharing stories about people with a stoma either. They published such negative, fear mongering articles that had people, like me, perceiving it as death sentance or that it was THE worst thing imaginable.

But my surgeon said this to me :
"while this will change your life, it will also save it."

I met with my stoma nurse, counsellors and surgeon a couple of times to help me process the surgery. I hadn't told any of my friends or family, I didn't know how to bring it up, I knew they would have questions that I wasn't ready to answer, but I was worried about being judged.... so I decided to wait until I had to tell them, which was the week before surgery. I had so much to process as it was I just didn't need anyone else weighing in, they were pissed understandably, but they were also upset that I was trying to process such a huge thing on my own.

I had told Russ though and he had been coming to my appointments with me, as it was impacting him too. At the time I gave him the option to leave me, told him that I wouldn't hold it against him if he did as it wasn't what he signed up for, he told me to stop being ridiculous and it would take a lot more than that to stop loving me.

I couldn't have gotten through all of this and life to come, without Russ though.

He came to my appointments and asked my surgeons or stoma nurse questions, he even asked if when they teach me how to look after my stoma that they show him too so that he knew how to help. I think it was at that point I fell even more in love with him, which I didn't think was possible.

Russ said to me that it was my decision to have the surgery or not, but if it meant that this could be helping me to live as long as I could that he would appreciate me having the surgery.

So 5 years on, this is a letter I wished I could tell my scared 21-year-old self, I don't even recognise that part of me anymore I feel like this was a massive turning point in my life and I grew up A LOT in the years to follow.


21-year-old me

Letter To My 21-Year-Old Self:

Talya,

I know you have a lot that you’re dealing with right now and I know that you’re doing the best that you can under the circumstances. You are facing a life-defining decision right now, I can tell you this because I have watched you live through this.

Yes it changed your life but it saved it too.

Do you know how much pain you’re in right now and every time you go to the toilet? You probably won’t believe me when I say this, but you won’t be in agony multiple times a day. You won't even be needing to spend most of your day on the toilet either.

Do you know how you don’t leave the house, go out for dinner or stay over at someone’s house unless you know that a toilet is accessible and close by? Well, you won’t have to worry as much. You won’t be needing to quickly dash to the toilet every time you eat.

Do you know how you lost your enjoyment of food because of the above comments? You will find you can eat all your favourite and missed foods, given there are things you can’t eat anymore, but you will find you will learn to love and appreciate food again.

I won’t lie, there will be some pretty difficult times ahead, not only will surgery and the recovery be long and hard but it will be painful.

You will adapt to stoma life, but it will take time, so be patient with the process.

There will be times where shit literally will happen, it is to be expected, but trust me - you will get used to it. You will sometimes wake covered in shit, so just remember to empty your bag throughout the night and also invest in waterproof mattress protectors.

Sometimes leaks happen, it isn’t your fault, but always carry a spare set of supplies everywhere you go just in case. There will be a time where you’ll be caught out, it will be embarrassing and it will serve as a learning curve.

I know you’re apprehensive right now about surgery, but your stoma will serve to give you extra time… everyday is a gift and not a given right, learn to appreciate each day you wake up and all of the moments you have.

You don’t need to worry about Russ or your marriage, he will be there for you every step of the way. He will surprise you at how calm and collected he is even when you’re flustered and freaking out and covered in shit, even if it is in the middle of the night. He won’t mind helping with your bag changes or leaks, you just have to ask him.

He loves you for you and your stoma will soon be a part of you.

You will lose friends, because they don’t understand - it will hurt but don’t dwell too much on those who aren’t there for you and appreciate and be grateful to those who are. You will make some great friendships over the coming years too, you'll find people who embrace you for the wonderful person you are and won't be worried that you have a stoma.

Just remember what dad used to say to you and find comfort in his words offered.

The next 5 years will be incredibly tough and this is just the start of the rollercoaster ride known as life, this will be the first of many primary cancer diagnosis’ and the start of many surgeries.

Know your limits but also recognise when you need to ask for help too. Put your stoicism aside and ask people to help you, most are wanting to help they just are waiting for you to ask.

There’ll be times where you easily wished you could pick up the phone and call dad, but there’ll be times where you will draw from his presence and he will be there to guide you. I am sure he will be proud of you. 

Learn to pick your battles, know that some just aren’t worth the stress. You will come to learn to try and let everything go, everyone will always be having their own opinion or force their mindset onto you. Just stay true to yourself. Know your worth. Know that you aren’t what they think of you. 

It will be hard on your mental health throughout times over these next 5 years, there will be times where you spiral and it is important to always recognise when you need help. Find what drives your creativity, focus on writing or creating, find ways to give yourself purpose in your day.

You are about to start a blog, you are worried about putting all this out there publicly and worried about how other’s perceive you. But by doing this you are going to be helping so many, you will help save lives, you will help nurses in how they help support young people with a stoma, you’ll be nominated for awards, you will even start your own magazine for young people with a stoma and will even help others to feel less alone.

You’ll start your blog because you’re finding as a 21-year-old female that there isn’t much info out there at the moment when it comes to young people with a stoma and a blog, you don’t know what life will be like going forward, but you will feel that if you share it as you go that maybe you’ll help others who are feeling alone or worried too. You will meet other young ostomates too.

You’ll even be invited to speak about your time as a young ostomate.

But you will also get to do some fun stuff too, like catch the train to Adelaide, go to P!nk’s 2013 concert, Meet the Dixie Chicks and see them in concert in 2017, finally get to experience and see Darling Harbour, Go to Melbourne and accidentally stumble across the Offspring hospital, go swimming and do water aerobics, and do some bucket listing too. You'll finally get a tattoo too!

You and Russ will realise your house dreams in 2015 and will build a house, you’ll also have a very adorable and fun kitten who will make your days fun and full of love.

Then in 2016 you’ll need surgery to remove one of your tumours which will mean losing your stoma, your stoma will now be retracted and sit under your skin. It will leak a lot, it will be hard at times to lose all hope knowing the good stoma you had prior, but you will get through it. You will get used to daily leaks and waking up with a leak, it will affect your mood and what you do but you’ll be relatively okay.

In 2016 you will also enter palliative care, they will offer you a wheelchair - don’t decline out of pride or feeling like you aren’t worthy of it. You will learn to love your wheelchair and embrace it, just like you have your stoma.

So while you have a huge decision to make right now, I can tell you this now that you will be better off having the surgery. You will be okay, your marriage will be fine, you will love life and not fear it.

Don’t fear asking your stoma nurse for help, even if you feel it is a silly question, she will be one of your greatest supports. She has probably heard it all, you really couldn't do this without her....

But you have got this, your life will be changed but you will cope and adapt.... just breathe!

Write that bucket list now, start to see and do as much as you can and don’t keep saying there’ll be plenty of time, go travel when you’re able to and take lots of photos and always tell those you hold dear you love them and appreciate them.

Love,
your older and somewhat wiser self

P.S I just wanted to say thank you to each and every person who reads my posts, comments on social media or on here or has emailed me over these 5 years supporting my blog. Cannot believe it is 5 years later already!

 

 

Posted by: Talya AT 06:47 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Thursday, December 14 2017

If you have just read part 1, You will have learned: how heat can affect those who are vulnerable or sick or with an ostomy; what are the different heat related illnesses to look out for; what are the symptoms of the heat illnesses; and lastly, how/what to do under each situation.

NB: It is important to remember that this is just an informative guide only and I am not a nurse or doctor, and any individual circumstances or advisement is based on each person's own circumstances. If you have questions to follow it up with your team.

So in this Part 2, I will be sharing tips to help you be more prepared for the weekend

But just in case you haven't read part 1 yet, basically here in Australia we are preparing for an extreme heat wave which will occur over the weekend and most of Australia will be experiencing temps of 35'c-45'c+.


Image from Higgins Storm Chasing, providing a visual of just how much of Australia is to be affected

I have an ostomy, ileostomy to be exact, I also have other chronic co-morbid health issues/illnesses and take various medications which put me at higher risk of sun related illnesses.

I started writing this post a couple of years ago but never finished it in time for it to be relevant, so I am finishing it ahead of this weekend, I only hope it might help someone to be more informed of their own circumstances and to know what to do.

To read part 1, click here:

Also keep in mind anyone you know who might be at a higher risk of suffering with the heat, it could be a neighbour who is elderly and lives alone, or it could be checking in on a friend, just to make sure they are doing okay - as the heat can affect many in different ways.

Part 2: Being prepared and tips to surviving the heatwave

I thought it might just be helpful to share different tips to help you get through the heatwave, if you have your own be sure to comment.

Tip #1: Never leave kids or pets alone in a car
I know this hopefully is common knowledge, but you'd be surprised how many times I have been at the shops and found pets or kids sitting in the car while their parents or owners shopped. Even with the windows down or leaving the car running with the air conditioning going, the car is still going to be hot.

Even on a "cool day" this is a no-no. While the temp outside might only be 25'c the temps inside that car can be 55-70'c! It can rise 40 degrees hotter than the outside temperature, so imagine how hot it would be on a day during a heatwave.... scary to think. The damage it can do is increase a child's body temperature, which could lead to brain damage... not to mention what it does to pets too. 

I have seen videos and experiements where a chef has cooked a lamb while inside a car, to a vet documenting what it is like in a car. I do not suggest trying it out yourself, there are plenty of videos and information out on the interwebs about the consequences to leaving pets or kids in cars, which can be deadly.

A child left in a parked car under those conditions for even a few minutes can very quickly become distressed, dehydrated and can die from organ failure. If you see anything, you need to act quickly. If you wait, it can be too late.

What to do if you see a child or pet in the car?
The NRMA advises: You must make a judgment call as to whether it is a life and death situation and you would need to break a window yourself and call an ambulance, or whether you should call 000 and ask for police, who will get there as urgently as they can (and will break the window themselves) and they will call an ambulance.

If the child is clearly distressed, do not wait for help. Instead, break a window and remove the child from the vehicle until help arrives. If you break a window, and the child is simply asleep and it turns out not to be an emergency, it is possible that you could be required to pay for the window.

You don't have to be an NRMA member to call for roadside assistance if it is in less urgent circumstances. Because of the grave danger involved, the NRMA drops everything to respond immediately to calls where a child is locked in a car.

For pets: Visit Just 6 minutes, a site by the RSPCA which outlines that it takes only 6 minutes of a dog left in a car to die. Here is a factsheet of pet first aid if you can rescue the pet from the car and can wait until the owner arrives. Call 000 immediately and ask what you're legalities are if you can smash the window. But some states you can receive a $200k fine and imprisonment for leaving a pet in the car.

Tip #2: Have plenty of water
Water is important for helping you to stay rehydrated, make sure you have plenty to drink. Consider taking a bottle of water to someone who is experiencing homlessness, they might not have adequate access to water, it might not be a lot but it is a nice gesuture to look out for someone who is at high risk of heat related illnesses.

You should drink two to three litres of water a day even if you don't feel thirsty. 

Tip #3: Have electrolyte replacement on hand
If you're like me and have an ostomy and need to replenish lost electrolytes, make sure you have enough to get you through the weekend. I try and have a 1L bottle of sports drinks, I get the powder and mix in the water, and have a few of these made up in my fridge ready. You can consult with your Nurse or dietician over what is the best option for you to replace your lost electrolytes. Due to having no large bowel I am at risk of dehydration, which is worse in Summer and extreme heat. Salts and minerals are vital for your body's functionality.

Also important if you don't have an ostomy but have gastro or vomiting bugs during a heatwave too. Hydrolyte is an electrolyte drink which also comes in the form of icypoles too and can be found from most supermarkets or chemists.

Tip #4: Stay cool
This is important, especially if you struggle with body regulation, you need to find somewhere cool. Air conditioned is preferable, if your home isn't air conditioned maybe ask a neighbour or friend if you could join them, otherwise hit the shops and enjoy their air condiitioning too. If you don't have air conditioning find somewhere cool in your house and put on a fan. You could go to the library, cinema, art galleries, cafes too.

If you are outdoors try and find a nice shaded tree and be sure to keep hydrated.

You could also use one of those battery operated hand held mist fans Kmart have them for $5-$10, or a spray bottle with water in it to help.

A cool tip, get it (lol) I have one of my heatpacks in a zip lock bag and in my freezer. This turns into a cold pack and means I have a cool option too. I get my heatpack/cold packs from Chatterbox City.

Tip #5: Keep plenty of drinks in the fridge prepared
Fill as many bottles as possible and put in the fridge, some could be cordials or soft drinks, but limit the alcohol. Plenty of cool drinks will help keep you cool

Tip #6: Have ice packs or blocks in the freezer
Firstly, ice blocks or icypoles are a great way to keeping cool and hydrated in Summer. You could also freeze water bottles so they last cooler for longer, if you are going to the beach. Ice packs are good to keep on hand in case of first aid and if you need to aid in cooling someone down. See part 1 for how this works.

Tip #7: Keep blinds drawn
This will help keep your house cooler, even if you have air conditioning going, keeping the blinds drawn will help your system to not have to work overtime too. But if you don't have air conditioning it will still help if you have a fan too.

Tip #8: Wear light summery clothing
Avoid wearing lots of layers and wear something light and breathable, this will not only help in keeping your body cool but will aid in your body trying to regulate it's temperature. Avoid wearing dark or black coloured clothing. Clothing light in colour reflects the light better.

Tip #9: Be sun smart and sun safe
Slip, slop, slap. Sunscreen, a hat, sunnies and a shirt are not only safe ways of being out in the sun but also help in preventing melanoma. If you must be out in the sun keep out of the sun as much as possible - during a heatwave you should be minimising your sun exposure. Seek out shade.

Tip #10: Reapply sunscreen often
Even if it is overcast, you can still get burnt and when you're swimming sunscreen washes or rubs off after time, so everytime you come out of the water or as often as indicated on the bottle: reapply. Also if you do happen to get burnt, have some cooling after sun gel in the fridge to help your skin cool down, aloe vera fresh from the garden helps too.

Tip #11: Don't lie in the sun exposed
If you're planning on laying on the beach and reading a book, chances are you could fall asleep and get sun stroke. A heatwave isn't the right time to do this, seek out shelter or shade or plan your trip to the beach on a day where the weather isn't as hot.

Tip #12: in case of a blackout
It is important having items such as a torch, a battery operated fan, extra batteries, bottled water and first aid kit on hand in case of a power outage. Also, wrap medications that need to be refrigerated (such as insulin pens) in foil or place in an heat repellent container with some ice in case of power failure.

Tip #13: Open the house at night or evening if a cool change is forecast
This is self explanatory, but this might help to keep the house cool of a night or the next day if air gets circulating around, remember to draw the blinds early in the morning to keep the heat out and the cool in.

Tip #14: Pets or wildlife
Pets can be particularly vulnerable to the heat. Make sure they have shade and plenty of cool water to last the day. If you live near the bush, consider leaving a bowl or bucket of water out for any Koalas, kangaroos, dogs or cats or other animals that might want water.

Fill a kids clam pool sand pit thing with water and put in the shade and let your dog cool down when he needs to.

Tip #15: Keep your body cool but not freezing
It is important to remember that while you want to cool your body down that you aren't changing your temperature too quickly or suddenly. You could go swimming or lay in a bath if you run the cool water before the hot to cool down. You could set the sprinkler up or a water slide, brings back good memories being a kid and having a tarp and sprinkler on the yard and having a good old time. Just remember to be sun smart too!

Tip #16: Check in on those at risk
Keep a close eye on those most at risk, like the sick, the elderly and the young (a full list of vulnerable at risk perspns is in part 1). Do this at an arranged time at least twice a day. The heat affects everyone differently and adversely, be sure to make sure they have plenty to eat.

Tip #17: Watermelon
Would it be an Aussie summer without watermelon? I love watermelon, it is full of water plus it is a good source of electrolytes too! Make it fun by using cookie cutters to make fun shapes too. If you get sick of water, maybe have some watermelon to help replenish you. Your body will thank you too, it is oozing with benefits too. 

Tip #18: Foods
Enjoy delicious salads and cold meats for dinner, while a hot meal is delicious, it will only make you sweat and feel hot cooking away in the kitchen. But with the heatwave foods like strawberries, cucumbers, watermelons, celery, tomatoes and broccoli and lettuce contain water, which can be benefitial towards your water intake.

Tip #19: Wearing a stoma cover
I get rashes on my stomach under where my bag sits against my skin, especially when it is hot. I found last year if I wore an ostomy pouch bag cover it helped to relieve the rash as it wasn't plastic on my skin and it worked as a barrier between my skin and bag. If you find you get rashes too maybe speak to your nurse as she might have some bag covers or be able to point you in the right direction to where online you can find them. I had a friend make me some. Theres heaps of options if you google too.


My cover a friend made for me

Tip #20: Mashmallows
I find when I am dehydrated or in Summer my output is more watery. It is hard sometimes to keep my hydration up when this happens, but I have some marshmallows and immodium to help thicken my output. Sometimes a watery output is a sign of a blockage too, be mindful of this as you may need medical attention.

☟ ☟ ☟ ☟ ☟ ☟

I hope that you have found these 2 posts helpful on how to prepare for a heatwave with an ostomy, I know they have been long posts but there was a lot of information I needed to share with you. These posts do not replace the information of that of your nurse or doctors, it is a guide to help inform you of the risks and tips on getting through the heatwave safely.

Please be sure to seek medical attention if you require it and don't delay, heat related illnesses are deadly serious.

More Links through my research:
- On how medication/heat affects you:
- Heat related illnesses and what to do: NSW health
- SES heatwave fact sheet
- SES heatwave tips
- ABC heatwave tips
- Know your risk
- Heat and children: NSW health
- Cancer Council Australia slip slop slap seek
- Just 6 minutes pet first aid
- NRMA children in a hot car

If you have another tip, be sure to let me know in the comments below. To read part 1, click here

Posted by: Talya AT 10:15 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Thursday, December 14 2017

NB: I am not a doctor or nurse, I am sharing information through my own experiences and also that of various credible sites online. The heat and how it may affect you can differ based on personal health issues, so please do speak to a professional regarding how to be safe in Summer based on your own needs. I am sharing the advice I have found and learned in the hopes it may help you to have a better awareness of how to prepare and endure the heatwave.

Here in Australia, we are 14 days into our Summer. We had a fairly non-existent Winter where we live near in northern NSW, and it honestly felt like a mild Summer. I don't recall having to wear a jumper at all and some nights we needed the air conditioning on. But temps were always around 30'c, it was so dry and warm that our grass and plants were rather dead looking - thankfully, after a lot of water and work, the lawn and garden are thriving.

But it did make me worry about the sort of heats and Summer to prepare for, and if going off the predictions for this weekend - I had a right to worry.

So this weekend, particularly Sunday and Monday, most of Australia will be experiencing temperatures ranging between 35'c to over 45'c, we are told this could be the first of many extreme heatwaves we'll need to prepare for this Summer.


Image from Higgins Storm Chasing, providing a visual of just how much of Australia is to be affected

..... 14 days in to December, this is going to be a long hot Summer!

Part 1: Knowing your risk and what to do

I know you're probably thinking, "big deal just go to the beach, no biggie" - well it actually is a big deal, especially to those vulnerable in the community which includes:
The homeless
The elderly
Children
Pregnant women or breastfeeding women
Those who are sick, including those who have health conditions such as Diabetes, lung disease, breathing issues, asthma, heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure or who take medications that make them vulnerable
☀ Those with conditions that affect sweating
☀ People with cancer
Those with an ostomy
Those who work outdoors or in factories or hot working environments
Athletes or people who exercise vigorously in the heat
Those who are obese, overweight or aren't very mobile
☀ Those with an acute illness such as an infection, fever, or gastroenteritis (diarrhoea and/or vomiting)
☀ Those who live alone or don't have much social support
☀ Those who enjoy the outdoors including gardening
☀ Those with Mental health issues or dementia
☀ Those who drink alcohol or use drugs
Not to forget our furry friends too!

During heatwaves you can be at risk of heat related illnesses such as heat stroke, dehydration, overheating or hyperthermia, heat cramps. Heat can also worsen health conditions too. During this time the extreme heatwaves can attribute to bushfires or power outages (blackouts) too, so it is important to be prepared.

Summer and heat realated health issues and illnesses need to be taken seriously as it can lead to deaths, heart attacks, strokes and more.

How does having an ostomy put me at risk during a heatwave?
If you're like me and have an ostomy (or have had bowel surgeries before) you could be at a higher risk of dehydration and feeling vulnerable to heat related illnesses. This is to do with the loss of bowel and without your large bowel your body might not be reabsorbing essential vitamins and minerals such as electrolytes. This is why doctors and stoma nurses suggest replenishing your electolytes to avoid dehydration. So it is essential at the best of times to monitor and replenish your minerals and stay hydrated.

Then add in sweating and extreme heat to the mix and you're more susceptible to becoming dehydrated and suffering due to the heat. Aside from drinking plenty of fluids, also drink electrolyte drinks such as sports drinks or even icypoles filled with all of your delicious minerals and vitamins. Be sure to ask your stoma nurse or dietician what else you can do to help.

With the dehydration issues aside (I will share signs to look out for below) heat can also affect your stoma, such as: by your bag not adhering to your skin properly, using tapes/boomerangs these can help to secure your bags; you might get a heat rash, I know in Summer I get a heat rash where my bag sits against my stomach, I find wearing stoma covers helps with the irritation; Your output might be more watery due to dehydration, so have some marshmallows or gastro stop/immodium to thicken your output. Just remember your spare stoma kit and supplies if you do go out, just incase you happen to have a leak.

It is important to also keep in mind (during the heatwave) that if you are outdoors, doing any strenuous activities such as sports or gardening with an ostomy, you are at risk of heat cramps too. I will explain more about heat cramps below, but essentially due to excessive sweating the body loses water and salts (electrolytes) and when the salts in the muscles get really low these cause cramps. If your electrolyte levels are at risk of being low consider avoiding activities that might put you at risk of heat cramps, at least until you are rehydrated and the weather is as normal as it will be during Summer.

So what is dehydration and what are the signs to look out for?
According to NSW health, when the weather is very hot, the body has to work very hard and produce a lot of sweat to keep itself cool. During extreme heatwaves, our bodies sweat a lot, which can lead to dehydration if we aren't careful. Mild to moderate dehydration makes the heart work faster and leads to reduced fluid available for sweating.

NSW health says the symptoms/signs of dehydration to look out for are:
Dizziness and tiredness
Irritability
Thirst
Bright or dark yellow urine
Loss of appetite
Fainting

So what should you do if you or a loved one are dehydrated? NSW health offers this advice:
☀ Drink plenty of water or diluted fruit juice (1 part juice in 4 parts water) and avoid tea, coffee or alcohol
☀ Move somewhere cool, ideally air-conditioned
☀ If possible use a spray bottle with water to cool yourself down
☀ If you start to feel unwell, seek medical advice

So what are heat cramps and what are the signs to look out for?
According to NSW health, "Heat cramps usually affect people who sweat a lot during strenuous activity (e.g. sport or gardening). The sweating causes the body to lose salt and water. The low salt levels in the muscles may be the cause of heat cramps and they can be a symptom of heat exhaustion".

NSW health says the symptoms/signs to look out for are:
 Muscle Pains
Muscle Spasms

So what should you do if you or a loved one are suffering with heat cramps? NSW health offers this advice: 
☀ Stop all activity and lie in a cool space, legs slightly raised
☀ Drink water or diluted fruit juice (1 part juice in 4 parts water)
☀ Have a cool shower or bath
☀ Massage your limbs to ease spasms, apply cool packs
☀ Do not return to strenuous activity for a few hours after the cramps subside (exertion may lead to heat exhaustion/heat stroke)
☀ Seek medical advice if there is no improvement

So what is heat exhaustion and what are the signs to look out for?
According to NSW health, "Heat exhaustion is the body’s response to an excessive loss of water and salt contained in sweat. If heat exhaustion is not treated, it can turn into heat stroke."

NSW health says the symptoms/signs to look out for are:
 Heavy sweating (cool and moist skin)
☀ Pale skin
☀ Fast and weak pulse rate
☀ Shallow and fast breathing
☀ Muscle weakness or cramps
☀ Tiredness and dizziness
☀ Headache
☀ Nausea or vomiting
☀ Fainting

What to do -FIRST AID- according to NSW health:
 Move to a cool place, ideally air-conditioned and lie down
☀ Remove excess clothing
☀ Take small sips of cool fluids
☀ Take a cool shower, bath or sponge bath
☀ Put cool packs under armpits, on the groin, or on the back of the neck to reduce body heat
☀ If symptoms worsen or if there is no improvement, seek urgent medical advice and call an ambulance if necessary

So what is heat stroke and what are the signs to look out for?
According to NSW health, "Heat stroke is a life-threatening emergency and occurs when the body temperature rises above 40.5°C. Immediate first aid is very important, aim to lower body temperature as quickly as possible."

NSW health says the symptoms/signs to look out for are:
 Heavy sweating (cool and moist skin)
☀ Sudden rise in body temperature
☀ Red, hot and dry skin (sweating has stopped)
☀ Dry swollen tongue
☀ Rapid pulse
☀ Rapid shallow breathing
☀ Intense thirst
☀ Headache
☀ Nausea or vomiting
☀ Dizziness or confusion
☀ Poor coordination or slurred speech
☀ Aggressive or bizarre behaviour
☀ Loss of consciousness, seizures or coma

What to do -FIRST AID- according to NSW health:
 Immediately call 000 and ask for an ambulance
☀ Get the person into the shade, lay them down, and keep them as still as possible
☀ Give small sips of cool fluids if conscious and able to drink
☀ Bring their temperature down using any method available (sponging with cool water, cool shower, spraying with cool water from a garden hose or soaking clothes with cool water)
☀ Put cool packs under armpits, on the groin, or on the back of the neck to reduce body heat
☀ Do not give aspirin or paracetamol; they do not help and may be harmful
☀ If unconscious, lay the person on their side (recovery position) and check they can breathe properly
☀ Perform CPR if needed

I know that this is a long and comprehensive guide on the signs and symptoms pertaining to heat related illnesses and what to do in terms of First Aid, in the next post (part 2) I will talk about being prepared and tips for enduring the heatwave.

Again, I am no health professional, I have only done 2 years of Nursing, but I just wanted to put as much information out there from reliable sources to help you be more informed when it comes to the heat and Summer... especially with an ostomy or any health issue, which can make your risk heightened. Please seek medical attention and don't delay, also remember to slip slop slap!

Please be safe and be mindful of how your medications can affect you with the heat, speak to your doctor or pharmacist if you are worried.

To read Part 2, click here

 

Posted by: Talya AT 08:15 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Sunday, December 10 2017

You don't need me to remind you that Christmas is around the corner and fast approaching, I am sure everytime you step into the supermarket you're reminded with visual cues.

But just in case you live under a rock.... there are exactly 2 Sundays left until Christmas.

so #keepcalm, don't panic - you've got this!

I have always had this dream of hosting Christmas one year, not realising the full extent of what that might involve, I naively and dutifully spent time preparing and getting the house and ourselves ready last year - as it was indeed my turn.

As my family live 2 hours away, this meant they needed to travel up the night before (for those who stayed the night) or the next day (for those who didn't stay). I am the oldest of 10 kids, then there are our partners and now nephews, so there were a lot of people coming for the couple of days.

So here were the things I did to help myself prepare and get ready for having guests over the holidays or throughout the year, based off of various guest's experiences or feedback over the past year....

My 10 top tips to getting ready for guests at Xmas time: 

#1. Ensure there is plenty of toilet paper:
It is just usually my husband and myself, so we buy our toilet paper from Who Gives A Crap which is good stuff for your bottom and the environment, plus every roll of paper goes towards giving someone access to a toilet for a week. Living with bowel relatable illnesses for years, I know how important proper sanitary access is.

So a normal shipment lasts us 3-6months, but as we were having around 15 extra people in the house we decided to order our shipment early and have toilet paper supply at the ready.... last thing we wanted was on Xmas day to run out and the shops are closed. I felt a little less stressed knowing that we had ample supply.

#2. Knowing the meals or menu ahead of time:
A month before Xmas I had finalised the meal plan and menu for Xmas day, I had spent the month beforehand getting input from family attending on the day and curated a menu that I then knew was to everyone's liking. I asked people to bring their own alcohol or seafood, as everyone has their own preferences and that shit is expensive, so this helped me to stick to my budget too.

By having the meal organised ahead of time it meant I could shop where items were on sale and could get things such as soft drinks when on sale and kept aside. I just had to get the fresh stuff like bread rolls, meats and salads Xmas eve.

By also knowing what I needed to grab Xmas eve it made a quick dash to the shops a breeze, we even had to get the wheelchair out, but we had a list, we checked it twice, and we were in and out of there in a jiffy. 

Yes, I designed and sent out a flyer for Xmas day - I informed the menu plans, what they needed to bring, accommodation options and also offered to wrap presents... I think the last part people may have thought I was joking about. But Talya doesn't joke when it comes to wrapping presents - I love it!!

#3. Prepare things before Xmas day:
I am unable to stand for long periods of time, so cooking is something I delegate to Russ nowadays as it gets too painful and tiresome. If I can prepare things seated, I will. But knowing my lack of energy and ability to cook I knew I couldn't be the host slaving away in the kitchen all day and as a result missing precious family time.

So I had most things done the night before in the fridge, then I spent some time in the morning quickly doing the salads and cooking some foods. I was lucky and grateful that my family did most of the cooking for me, it made the day less stressful.

#4. Ensure your guests have easy access to items:
I know when I have been a guest at someone's home, I always felt awkward when asking where things were such as toilet paper, towels, soap etc. So keeping this in mind, I tried to make my guest's stay easier.

I know if I am resting people don't like to bother me, but I know this is out of a place of courtesy and caring but also they don't wish to be a bother. So I tried to organise my guest bedroom and bathroom with this in mind too, trying to keep people feeling welcome and at ease is important to me... as I do hope people come and stay again.

So in the room I have a basket of various toiletries and items I have collected throughout the years. Whether it is hotel soap or shower caps, or a pack of disposable razors, or pads/tampons, or even sunscreen and aeroguard. Most items were on sale or as part of a 3 pack and were naturally spares. I also have toothbrushes too, in case a guest forgets theirs. I also have spare heatpacks too.

I hope that by having all the items one may need readily and available to them, that it might help offer dignity to their stay.


The basket looks more full now, but this was the first items put in there. I just add things when on sale etc.

#5. Have plenty of towels available:
When you have over 10 people staying in your house, you need a lot of towels!

I spent the weeks leading up to Christmas re-washing our spare towels (they had been in storage since the move) and made sure that these were fresh and in ample supply. I gave at least 2 on the bed for each guest (in case one was needed for hair), along with a face washer, soap bar, and had all of this ready for when they arrived.

In the linen cupboard were 50 more towels ready, we just wanted them to be prepared.

#6. Have empty and clean bins near all toilets:
I found this tip on a blog by Rebecca Senyard who blogs at "The Plumbette" which said to save your plumbing this Xmas, to have an empty bin near your toilets for guests to dispose of sanitary items. I was shocked to think people flush them, and as a home owner, I would hate to foot the bill to repair the plumbing (especially over Xmas) because something blocked it. Gross!! So to avoid this fiasco this Xmas pop a bin nearby, if you already have a bin there just be sure to make sure it is empty before guests arrive! This again helps your guests to have dignity when they visit too!

#7. Have a toilet plunger, toilet brush and spray ready too
As important as step #6 is, this one also applies. Guests may require the use of a plunger, toilet brush or spray, so make sure you have your bathroom stocked and ready for guests this Xmas. Saves them the embarassment of needing to ask.

#8. It's okay to need 'me time' and step away for a breather
I am a person with high functioning anxiety, I tend to get overwhelmed very easily and even around my family or in social settings sometimes I don't say much or I just say drivvle because my brain just freezes and I just don't know how to act or what to say. I tend to be over analysing every word said, every social cue, what someone is thinking of me, and this is rather tiresome.

It can be hard when you're hosting Xmas or any event as it is your house and everyone is there or everywhere, you tend to feel a bit overwhelmed. It is important to have somewhere in your house that is YOUR (underline YOUR) space and somewhere that is off limits to everyone. You might not necesarrily make this a known no-go-zone or add signage to the door, but as long as you know you have somewhere you can escape to it will help you.

I love my family, I love spending time with them, but there can be times where I need to just disappear for 5 or more minutes for my ability to keep calm and carry on, so when it is at your house it can be harder. So have a space where you can just be alone to regather your thoughts or to practice mindfulness techniques or to just take a breather... it is important to know your own limits too. This can be a form of self care too.

#9. Have a fan or cooling option available, especially if it is summer
Here it can be pretty hot and muggy (humid) around Christmas or Summer, so while we have ducted air conditioning, we also have a pedastal fan in the guest rooms to have options to what makes them more comfortable. It is hard sometimes in Summer to get a good night's sleep, so if you have a big day planned your guests might need plenty of rest.

A fan is good too, as sometimes people have trouble sleeping away from their own beds and a fan offers white noise which may help them to feel calm or relaxed, even if the fan is kept in the cupboard in their room for example, it gives them the option of not having to ask or be embarrassed because they need a fan.

#10. Have fresh linens on the bed ready when guests arrive
When you know you have guests arriving, especially if they are having to travel, having their beds already made with freshly washed linens will help them to retire early if they are tired without the delay of waitiing for sheets to dry or the bed to be made; and by having the bed ready to go when they arrive, your guests can rest whenever they need to without the embarassment of needing to ask. I know when I travel I am in pain and I often just want to have a nap, so it helps to have this all ready for them when they arrive.


Dusty loves when people visit - as do I!

bonus tip #11. Have plenty for your guests to do
I know not everyone likes to be social 110% of the time, so we have tried to have things that people can do if they wanted to. Whether it be a TV in their room to watch their own TV shows (my MIL always watches Star Trek or Castle box sets when she visits) and having a spare TV means we aren't bothering each other with our own shows. We also have a board games cupboard with a massive range of games, not to forget our book shelf with heaps of books, or our large DVD collection. We also got some toys for when young children visit and to keep them occupied.... we have bikes and spare helmets, a dart board too, we have so many different things that we hoped guests won't find our place boring... we aim for fun yet inviting, so it is a work in progress!

So while I know there are plenty of ways to help prepare yourself and your house for guests, whether it is the holidays or anytime during the year, these are just some of the ways I have tried to ensure my guests had a good time when they visited.

Wishing you a lovely holidays, hope that you have a wonderful time with your family or friends and thank you for your support during this year and beyond, it really means so much to me! Every comment, message or email doesn't go un-noticed and are very appreciated.


Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year from my family to yours (2016 photos)

p.s what other tips do you have for getting your house ready for guests or to ensure guests have a good stay? Let me know in the comments

Posted by: Talya AT 09:31 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Wednesday, October 04 2017

In Early December 2015, I was 2 months into my chemo plan of weekly treatments and was rather unwell with the chemo side of things and was in hospital rather ill with an infected and dying tumour that saw me in hospital for the weeks and months to come.

It was around this time that I learned of the Share the Dignity #itsinthebag campaign, I think I saw it on TV or on Facebook, I tried to organise what I could for a bag. I didn't have much time or energy, so I did the best I could and sent Russ to the shops with a shopping list of things to get for the bag.

I wished I had of known earlier about the campaign and I would have been super organised, so I vowed the next year to start early and shop throughout the year when things were on sale and hoped to try and do at least 2 bags by being organised and nabbing great deals.

So the new year came and true to my word, I started getting organised.

To give and receive a #itsinthebag gift is something that can help improve the lives of a woman who is doing it tough. I have heard stories of how they got a handbag and it helped them to look and feel more confident/professional when going for jobs, I heard from teenagers who escaped a violent home situation and are in the foster care system and a new backpack is a luxury and having someone believe in helping them through school made them feel loved and worthy.... each of the women who receive a bag from you have their own incredible stories, and sometimes they need to be reminded of how incredible they are.

Some tips before you start your bag:
* Consider adding in a box of snap lock bags into your finished bag, this will help to keep opened liquids such as shampoos or body wash to not leak and spoil the bag.... to start with put your containers in a snap lock bag, even though it is new and unopened it doesn't take much to bump the lid. I found a couple of bags last year had this happen... it will save your well thought out gift too
* Consider adding in something for her to feel pampered or relaxed it could be a face mask, perfume or a candle, jewellery, a book, an eye mask, colouring in books.
* Some cheap thongs or flip flops for $2 are a great idea
* Consider a little something extra like a gift be it a gift card for coles to buy food, or to a clothing store so she could buy herself something new, even something like sunglasses or a scarf or jewellery is a nice gift to receive
* Pop in a Xmas card or a little note with some well wishes and thoughts
* If your bag is for a teen or young adult consider wrapping yellow ribbon on the bag handle so charities and organisers know who the bag is for
* If you have items that would be helpful for a new mum, consider popping them in to a bag as well, I saw quite a few bags last year filled with breast pads
* P.S. If you're worried about everything fitting or falling out, consider purchasing one of Share the Dignity's Bag protector, which is a drawstring bag that also doubles as a laundry bag or a shopping bag too!
 

Here is how I managed to organise a bag on a budget!

Best of all I were able to organise not just 1 but 2 bags filled with items following these methods.

#1. Write it all down:
Given I had chemo brain and was rather forgettful, I knew the first and most important step was to write everything down! First I wrote it out as a list; then I transferred this data into a spreadsheet (or even a table will do fine) and added in fields or columns for Quantity, price, date purchased, date received (if online shopping) and a tick box field for when items were packed into the bag.

I know it might sound over the top to do things this way, but this is how I have organised present buying for years and it also means I am accountable for my purchases.

You would be surprised how many times I have purchased something more than once because I forgot about it.... even though it has been a year since my chemo finished I still have a rather frazzled brain, so lists and spreadsheets helps me to feel in control of my memory.

#2. Go through your own cupboards:
Now that you have your list, go through your own bathroom cupboards or your unwanted gifts and see what you have that would help you save. I used to receive BellaBox, which is a monthly subscription for makeup/cosmetics/toiletries and I used to put all the items into a container.

NB: Remembering ALL items toiletries, makeup etc needs to be unused or unopened for sanitary reasons.

I found some hair dye boxes left over from when I dyed Russ' hair, some perfume sets I never used, some makeup that were unopened, spare toothbrushes and I also divided the contents of the container of cosmetics I received from BellaBox into two piles.

Having a chunk of things already meant I could save costs and could instead buy something else.

#3. Sales, Sales, Sales:
Almost as much as I love shopping is my LOVE for a great bargain!

I start my Xmas shopping usually just after Xmas and take advantage of Boxing Day/Stocktake sales. I did this too when it came to my #itsinthebag planning and by having the best part of a year to shop and know what I was looking for, it helped me to nab some great buys at times.

I also take advantage of Click Frenzy deals, if you haven't heard of click frenzy it is this one day where sites offer crazy sales that are known for crashing the internet, it really is a clicking frenzy. I regularly scope out sites/stores like catch.com.au (formerly catch of the day), ozsale, kmart, reject shops as well as google.

I purchased a Roxy wallet that normally cost $20 for $5, so I grabbed 2. I found the eye masks (Kmart now have a range for $2) at Typo (with the help of a 50% off coupon) for $1.50, the beanie was from cotton on for 50c, as well as the notebooks. The backpacks were half price too. I got quality pretty design umbrellas on sale from Umbrellas & Parosols for around $6.95 on clearance too one was a leopard print.

Catch.com.au have 'club catch' where you receive shipping discounts as well as member only offers, sometimes there is ridiculously cheap priced offers but I find grocery store items like toiletries are really cheap to buy from here and are often a bulk buy too.

#4. Bulk buys and value for your dollar:
I found a lot of items I purchased were cheaper if purchased as 2 or in a pack/bulk. I found it was more value for my dollar and it meant that not only could I fill 2 bags but I also have a cupboard that is full of toiletries for guests, so it saved money and meant my dollar went further.

Say a pack of Pads were 1/2 price, it means if you purchased 2 packs that it would have cost the same as 1 pack would have, therefore doubling your price. Currently on Catch, they have a 6 pack of mesh bath sponges for $4.98 so 83c each.

Another example:
I purchased a 3 pack of good brand/quality hair brushes for $5! The brush for one on it's own were $10! 
I purchased my Aeroguard from Catch.com.au it was cheaper to buy a 3 pack at $10.47.
Roll on deoderant was a 12 pack for $10 from Ozsale.
Maybelline mascara and eyeliner packs 2 for $10 from Catch.

Just keep an eye out in catologues or online for good special buys, there really is great value to be found if you shop around and compare.

#5. Afterpay makes bigger cost items more affordable:
Last year I knew the biggest cost of doing the #itsinthebag bags were that I didn't have any backpacks or handbags myself that were in good enough condition that were gift worthy, the zips were broken and the bag were dirty - knowing this was a gift to lift someone up I didn't want to ruin this by her feeling disheartened.

I chose to organise my gifts for teenage girls, girls who are doing it tough. I knew a backpack would be great for school use as well as if they worked.

I took advantage of click frenzy sales half price or even less and grabbed 2 backpacks and put them on afterpay, which meant that I could break the repayments up over 8 weeks, which made it a little more affordable as well as not missing out on the sale.

☟ ☟ ☟ ☟☟ ☟ ☟ ☟

I really hope that these tips help you when it comes to organising your bag for the #itsinthebag campaign, just over a month before the collection period starts. Don't stress too much about how much or how little you put in, it isn't a competition and as long as you include the essentials such as Pads/Tampons, toiletries and the bag - then you are on your way to giving a woman the greatest gift this Xmas.

Last year my husband and I collected bags in our area and delivered to local charities who distributed them. This was such a rewarding experience and at one point there were over 300 bags sitting in my house!! The emotions felt when seeing each bag that had so lovingly been put together was truly incredible. I wrote about this experience here.

Everyone deserves some magic and kindness at Xmas.

Do you have friends who are doing a bag this year too? Why not arrange a date where they bring their bags and contents and you all sit around together and complete the bags. You could have wine and nibbles too, I am sure it would be a lovely and rewarding experience when shared with your best mates too!

Or if you can't put together a whole bag yourself, ask a friend if they wanted to do a bag with you and you could share the costs of creating it. She might even have a bag for you to use too! It is a perfect experience to share.

Posted by: Talya AT 09:30 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Sunday, August 13 2017

It is hard to believe that it is almost 12 months since we have moved into our new house! 


Top = today a year ago; bottom = recent picture before the birds of paradise
were planted under the window shown. Behind the fence is my koi pond!

I have been so busy trying to live and love life, plus enjoying the good days, that we haven't yet completed unpacking our house and we have so much left to do. This has had me feeling rather disappointed in myself as I was really hoping to have had the house set up and finished by now. So while we have nothing planned for the next few months, I really want to focus on finishing the unpacking and working on styling the house.

Having a beautifully styled house that I am proud of is one of the things I wanted to tick off my bucket list!

The first room I want to finish is our master suite (bedroom and ensuite). I spend so much time in my bed, bedroom and ensuite, that for me it is my most used/lived in space. I really wanted the room to make me feel happy, safe, comfortable, relaxed and proud; but more importantly, I want others visiting me to feel the same sense of comfort.

I had hoped by now to be able to have afforded a full room makeover, or to be on our feet financially for that matter. We have been adding pieces to the room as our budget has allowed us over the last year, but we still have a way to go. I love a good bargain and hunting for things
on sale. I also like to use my phone or laptop to browse and compare different products/prices online. We don't have a lot of money so I need to ensure that our money is well spent.

Russ thought it would be a good idea to perhaps write a blog post as a wishlist of what we want to achieve so that in a way we can hold ourselves accountable for ticking off this goal of finishing the house, and especially our room.
 
So, this is the accountability post for completing my master bedroom and my wish list for the tropical styled things I want in it.

I promise to do an 'after' or finished/completed type post, otherwise I will share the gradual progress on social media until then!

With spending so much of my time in bed, or unable to get out to shop in person, a lot of that time is spent just browsing sites to get a clearer picture of styling/product ideas. It is always nice when companies have a good online store with stock updates that are timely and reliable. If they have social media too you can see how other customers are using their products to style and get ideas from actual users of the products. I know I browse through Fantastic Furniture and Pillow Talk online all the time (as they are two stores close to where I live), always keeping an eye out for sales or new stock. I have a few other sites that I regularly do the rounds to check for the latest products, styling ideas or latest sales (I wish the reject shop had an online store), it really does help to pass the time when you are otherwise stuck in bed.

Another way to pass the time and find inspiration is Pinterest! I only hope I can create and style a Pinterest or Instagram worthy house on a budget!

Why tropical?
I wanted to choose a tropical styling for my room as it could be a way of adding my favourite things: timber, cool white, actual greenery and more vibrant colours without these elements being too overpowering or clashing with each other. I love birds of paradise and grew up with a frangipani themed room, so tropical has always been rooted in my core. We have birds of paradise in one of our bedroom windows as well as a frangipani tree in the garden we can access via our master ensuite. A tropical room has always been a dream of mine!

Quilt:
I really wanted a quilt that was bright, fun and certain to help lift my spirits on days where I'm struggling. I wanted it to be a way to motivate me each day - 12 months on and this quilt still does all that.... I purchased the quilt from Pillow Talk (it is now unavailable) before we moved house, along with the matching print on the wall (see below). I used these two items to start my tropical themed room. I know it isn't traditionally tropical but it is as I say "contemporary tropical" or that's how I've interpreted it. The quilt means I can add pops of colours into the room without seeming untethered to the core concept.

 
My beautiful, fun, bright and happy quilt from Pillow Talk & my bed

I am hoping the quilt isn't the reason the styling of the room falls apart, so I am hoping I can make it work to pull it off! I really love this quilt especially as on the reverse side it has this nice aqua colour + it matches with my purple (fave colour) sheets, so not sure if I want to part with it. However, if necessary to better the room then I might, but it makes me feel so happy and that is my priority!

Were I to change quilt covers if I felt it (the above quilt) really wasn't a fit, I have found some others from Pillow Talk and Spotlight that I have pictured below. It is so hard to choose what one I like the most, so these are my top 10! Pics to the left are from Pillow talk and pics to the right are from spotlight respectively.


Again not sponsored, these are just my favourite choices.

Bed:
I absolutely love my bed (pictured above)!

We purchased it back in 2012 from Beds R'Us and it was looking amazing until Dusty recently decided it was in fact his clawing post (I cried, it was heartbreaking to see/hear). I had thought about upgrading our bed but my heart is too set on it. It is a king size; it is leather which is easy to clean; it is white which means ANY quilt cover looks great and that it can be suited to any theme; it is the right height for me and doesn't hurt to get in and out of like our timber bed before; and besides, it looks so elegant too!

I know Russ has thought about upgrading our king bed maybe after I die, he feels it is too pretty for a guy and too hard to keep clean because it is white, not that he wants to remove my existence from our home- just he might feel like a change, who knows? If he/we did upgrade this is one that he has his heart set on. 

I know he likes timber beds a lot (we have 2 timber beds in the spare rooms, one was his from when he was a bachelor up until we upgraded to our white bed). We were looking around Coffs recently at the different options of tropical-esque furniture and he decided he really likes the 'Toronto King Bed' from Fantastic Furniture


Toronto King Bed plus bedroom package suite from Fantastic Furniture

Something to note is it is made from Acacia wood sourced from sustainably grown plantations (which is a tick from us as we try to be environmentally conscious), but the beauty of this timber is that it would beautifully match a tropical themed room! It is a bargain at $799 with 6 years warranty too (I think Russ is all for extending our warranties from his job as a salesman), as opposed to the $3500 we paid for our current bed, so if we/he upgraded it is a nice and affordable option indeed. Felt pretty solid too.

TV Stand:
Russ had said 11 months ago that he would organise some mates to come help him mount the TV in our bedroom, I hate being a nagging wife, but sometimes nothing would get done if I didn't keep asking. Most of the time I think he isn't listening but then some days he surprises me.... like last week. 

I have been wanting the TV set up in our room so that I could watch Netflix, a movie or catch up on missed TV shows. I'm not well enough to sit out of bed for long most days, so having the TV in the room would help. I am struggling typing or holding my phone and iPad the last few months, the nerve damage from chemo and the tumours are making it painful to touch things. I try to use my iPad but it is frustrating sometimes at how small the screen is or at the lack of sound (remembering I am deaf in one ear) so it makes sense to set up the TV where I can see it comfortably.

So Russ one afternoon last week told me to stay in the lounge room as he had a surprise planned... surprise (see picture below)! He had set the TV up on top of some cheap/flimsy bookshelf from the shed. Doofus! I loved the sentiment, but I am so worried as Dusty is a climber who likes jumping on shelves. But it has been great the past week enjoying TV from the comforts of my own bed!

We have been looking into options to put the TV on. It needs to be at a height of 900mm or higher due to laying in bed and not having a clear view if any lower.

So we have found two options: We thought that a chest of drawers would give the best height plus allow for additional storage. Russ wants the tall 4 drawer as it is 150mm taller than our current set up, but aesthetically I think the 6 draw would look and fit the space better - though it is 100mm less (but TV is awkwardly watchable). The two we like are in the Toronto range from Fantastic Furniture and there is only a $100 price difference. I can't decide, but once we do we will enquire into layby options to pay it off over a set period which makes it more affordable. I know $599 or $699 respectively might not seem like a lot - but it is for us when there isn't a lot in the bank.

Chair:
I always felt awkward on days where I was bed ridden and loved ones or palliative care nurses were visiting me. They were always either standing around or sitting on the bed next to me. A friend flew up from Sydney for my birthday and while she was here I was in bed with so much pain that I was unable to get up. I ended up having to text her to say "help yourself to the kitchen" so she came in and she layed herself down beside me, we just chatted for hours (it reminded me of sleepovers from the good ol' days). But I knew we needed to organise a chair sooner rather than later. So a chair was top priroty on our list of room additions.

We needed to get a cupboard for the hallway (can never have enough storage) and Super Amart had a 'buy one get 2nd item half price', so we only paid $225 for the armchair (it all went on our G.E. interest free card)! It is the 'James' and is the same as the lounges in the living room and it is wide enough so I can sit in it comfortably - if I want to sit and read, it has big arms and is really spacious. Russ often sits there reading a book while I am sleeping, especially on my bad days, so that he can watch over me and feel he is close by. Dusty also has claimed the chair as his, so just like every other part of the house this was business-as- usual.


As a family we all love this chair!

The chair for us was a must have for the future too. There will come a point when I am declining in my health and I want people to visit me and be comfortable. Russ tells me that it is 'typical Talya behaviour - always thinking of others needs', but all I want is for people to want to visit. It is a fear that I will be dying and be alone and I don't want to die not knowing that I am loved. So this chair is important and it gets used often.

Bedside tables:
I currently have 2 x white wooden bedsides I got from Fantastic Furniture way back in 2011 that still look in new condition. I like that these are timeless and can go with any trend/style and are sturdy. With a big cupboard space I have put baskets in there filled with medications and syringe safety bins for my Clexane injections. So keeping these and using them will save on costs, which is always nice when you're styling a room on a budget.

Wall Decor:
I have one framed print of a birds of paradise that matches the quilt (pictured below), but with so many walls still bare in my room it can be mistaken as being clinical. I want to get some wooden shelving, cubes or hexagons to make a wall feature which doubles as storage to have some plants around the room and to hold other little nick-nacks.


Birds of Paradise framed print from pillow talk

When we were in Fantastic Furniture recently I stumbled across this flamingo canvas artwork (below) that has all the colours of my quilt and is keeping in with the contemporary tropical theme, Russ really liked it too, so we are hoping to get it when we can afford it. It wasn't much, around $49 from memory.

I also enlisted the help of Foote and Flame to cut out some bamboo shapes of different tropical leaves so that I can hang these around my room and make an art piece from it. I also found some cheap tropical leaves in Kmart for $3 in various sizes and styles too. I know pillow talk have some too. I am hoping on the next day Russ has off to look at placement of the wooden and artificial leaves. 

Nick-nacks:
I have been keeping an eye out over the last year for different tropical themed pieces or even nice wooden decor, and trying to nab a good bargain. I have my eye on some timber framed artwork, some timber pineapple frames and other odds and ends like fake succulents. I really want to have some fake plants around the room to fill the spaces (My thumbs aren't green and Russ is not always home). 

I know we are trying to fit a lot into such a small space and I do hope that in the end it all looks as homey and relaxing as it does in my head. I am hoping now that I have written this that it holds Russ and I accountable for getting our house sorted. I know 12 months ago I didn't think I would still be here today and I know the outlook isn't too great for the next year, but I just really want to feel calm knowing my house is in order.... literally and figuratively! I want to not feel anxious over if I have done enough or if people are judging me.

I am really wanting my room to be my tropical escape as I won't have the ability to travel there myself I want to bring it to me.

I am also not an interior designer or stylist, so I don't know if the mood board I have in my noggin' is going to work, I will just have to see won't I!

If you know of any tropical themed wares over the coming weeks and months feel free to let me know so I can check them out. I am really wanting to have my room finished by Christmas/New Year at the latest. Plenty of time I know, but if the last 12 months have taught me anything it is that Russ is a snail (when it comes to getting things done) and time certainly does flies by!

So tell me, do you have a themed/styled room or house? Which room of your house is your favourite?
Comment below or join the conversation on Instagram or Facebook search @feelingostomistic or twitter @feel_ostomistic

Posted by: Talya AT 08:15 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Friday, January 13 2017

 

It is a little over 2 weeks until the launch of the first of it's kind and a very needed eZine aimed at helping young people with an Ostomy, it is launching on 28th of January. 


COMING SOON - JANUARY 28TH, 2017

There is some pretty amazing content that has been generously contributed by Ostomates and proffesionals all around the world with topics that will help a young Ostomate to navigate life with an Ostomy, so I am pretty excited about this and I know I am not alone either.

I have been working with the incredible Vanessa from Becomingness who has contributed some delicious and ostomy friendly recipes (stay tuned for the launch issue to find out more).

But it got me thinking, as there is interest all around the world with the eZine, what if they measure out ingredients in a different manner?

So rather than the hassle of readers needing to convert different measurements and to prevent any confusion, I decided I would design an A6 conversion reference card for different measurements.

You can either download and print at home for FREE via clicking here 

or

if you would like a professionally printed A6 postcard on glossy cardstock for $2 WITH FREE postage* within Australia, simply click here to pay via paypal. *If you are overseas, please email me first with your country and address so I can provide a postage quote.


CLICK THE IMAGE TO DOWNLOAD

 

I hope you enjoy this quick reference card I designed, and don't forget to sign up for the eZine ahead of the launch to be the first to read it! There will also be some pretty cool prizes up for grabs too!

 

Posted by: Talya AT 09:12 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Thursday, November 24 2016

I took the plunge this past week, and did something that has been on my bucket list for a while now.

I tried a CRONUT, and it was every bit mouth orgasmic as you would expect. Seriously, if you are in Woolgoolga (NSW) be sure to stop by The Next Phase on the main street for an experience you won't forget in a hurry.

But I did something even more terrifying.

I enrolled in a Diploma of counselling online, not that I have enough going on (cancer, facing mortality and living life).... but when I enrolled, before being accepted, I had to write why I wanted to study counselling.

Long before I was told that my disease is at the end stage, I wanted to study counselling and hoped that one day Feeling Ostomistic would branch out into counselling sessions online (via email, skype) or in person... so when I got my prognosis I made it a personal mission to study it before I cark it.

So there are two reasons why I want to study counselling, and both are pretty important to me:

#1. To help you:
There have been times where a reader has reached out to me needing support. While I am happy giving support through my lived experiences, sometimes I feel that a professional would be a better person to talk to. It has never been that I didn't want to hear you out or help you, but it was more I was worried about not being able to help you properly as I am not equipped with the skill set.

I always feared that I was doing more harm than good. So I wanted to study counselling to help me identify people at risk, people who have a need that they might not realise themselves and to make sure that I have the right tools to help you in your time of need in a way that is empowering, helpful and the right way.

#2. To help my husband:
My husband has Autism, and one thing that he struggles with is change especially suddenly. I have felt so guilty seeing his pain as I have progressively gotten worse, and knowing that I can't fix it is frustrating. But also it worries me that I won't be here (when I die) to help make sure he is okay and looked after.

Russ needs changes to happen over time and to be gradually introduced to the idea. But when it comes to my death which is inevitable, I am struggling to introduce this to him over time. He knows I am unwell and we talk openly about it and my wishes, but it is more after it happens I am concerned about.

So I am studying counselling to help me to learn grief coping techniques that I can teach Russ and help him to identify when he needs to seek help. I feel by at least knowing the tools to help teach him is a great place to start. I just feel so helpless and I worry about him a lot, but I hope that I can really help him.

So that is my two reasons behind enrolling in the course, the online college was pretty impressed with my maturity and selflessness... I really do try to lead as much of a selfless life as possible.

I just always felt my purpose in life was to help others, I just hope I can.

Posted by: Talya AT 11:38 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Monday, November 21 2016

I have never been much of a morning person even before I got sick, and the last year or so I generally don't start my day until later in the Morning.

Moreso lately, my health often sees me in bed until mid afternoon.

So it can be understandable that I might miss the occasional knocks at the front door, especially if I am in a deep sleep, or there's been many times where I have been in pain and tried to jump out of bed (read slowly stagger) to only get to the front door and missed getting to it in time.

It is so FRUSTRATING!

I always thought there should be a doorbell that can connect to your iphone and alert you to when someone is at the door, or better still if you could communicate with them.

So Russ and I in planning our house, we thought about issues like this and considered having an intercom system set up near our bed, but it was looking to be rather expensive.

But alas, imagine our delight when we found a doorbell at our local JB HIFI store that not only allowed us to get push notifications on our phone (providing our phone isn't on silent like last weekend where we didn't realise my mum was outside waiting for over 15 minutes), but also has video and audio too (acting as a video intercom)!

It has been such a help to me since we got the 'ring' doorbell.

Most of the time when I get out of bed my stoma is leaking, so it is rather difficult to try and get to the door in time with a leaking bag. So I have found it helpful when I am dealing with a bag leak or if I am in bed too sore to get up just yet, that when someone rings the doorbell I can see who it is and talk to them.

Often it is the postman with a parcel (not that I shop online a lot, but I get my Xmas shopping out of the way early and online) so it is convenient to say hello and to ask if the parcel needs a signature. I just explain that they can leave the parcel at the door for me and I will collect it when I can get to the door.

I also have spoken with the parcel lady before about having cancer and quote often it takes a moment for me to get to the door.

But it is also good having this doorbell when there is unsolicited doorknockers and I don't have to feel rude for wanting to slam the door in their face. I can just open the Ring app, see who it is and talk to them.

They also have a security camera system available too (we have a couple of cameras set up) where if there is motion in the area you get alerted to it, or you can live stream the video if you are out and want to check up on the house (or the kids) and you can also talk to and hear noises going on.

They are a little expensive, but for the convenience and amount of times it has helped me since we moved in over a month ago is significant. For me it is a tool that is helping me avoid hurting myself getting out of bed in a hurry.... and to give me a little bit of dignity in the mornings too.

DISCLAIMER: This is not a paid or sponsored post, I was not asked to write about the product by the manufacturer or by JB HIFI. I am also not biased on my opinion or experience because it was purchased from my husband's place of employment. I nor my husband receive any benefit by me sharing my experience on this product. This view is purely my own and I am sharing in the hopes that others (like me) who have struggled in the past with trying to get to the door in time, might now have a more convenient solution.

 

 

Posted by: Talya AT 10:40 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Tuesday, August 09 2016

I am so excited! Our house that we have been building (for what feels like years), is FINALLY at the 4 weeks to completion point.

Woop Woop!

This means that in 4 weeks we receive our keys and we can start moving in, ending our time as tennants and time to pay off our own mortgage.

This will also be my final house I will ever live in, and if my plan for an at-home death falls into place this will also be my final resting spot... and this is a dream come true, something I never thought I would get to experience.

In my 25 years I have lived in something crazy like 47 houses (I can name every single house) because my parents rented and sometimes we moved every 3-6 months, and then I have moved a lot in my adult life too.

So I am pretty excited to finally have a house that I can make into a home and not have the stress of house inspections and being evicted and having to move EVER AGAIN.

I am also pretty excited for my garden escape to be built and to have a place I can go to escape that is my happy place.... some days I really need somewhere outside of the house I can go and have privacy (and where we currently live that isn't an option as there is no fenced yard).

It took a lot for me to want to ask for help to create the garden escape for me, and I felt that some might feel that a garden was a silly dying wish to have, but it has been something that I really want and need... especially as I am mostly housebound and this is rather isolating and some days I am so down and depressed I don't get out of bed.

I know things will only get worse as time goes on, so I know that I will need this. I used to love going to the botanical gardens when I was sad or angry and it was my happy place, but I can't walk far anymore before being in too much pain so Russ wanted to try and bring the garden to me.

Russ set up a gofundme page to try and raise the funds needed to make this magical garden escape for me, and we have been so humbled and appreciative of all the support and donations so far! The link to the gofundme and to read my story thus far, https://www.gofundme.com/gardenfortalya

For what the working bee will involve (for those who have expressed interest) and my vision for my special garden and landscaping, please read on below. There is two sections: the main special garden (is my priority), but we also would appreciate any help in the rest of the landscaping (such as turfing, creating some gardens, laying pavers, mailbox) etc.

I have had a lot of family and friends ask what help we need in the garden, but also what things we need for the house. So I decided I would write this as a blog post so that I can just send them the link and they can read it, as opposed to me explaining it repeatedly.

Please note: I am not writing this expecting to get things for free, expecting charity or expecting anyone to buy things on our list out of obligation; especially as some of the things we need are costly. But if you want to help in the form of letting me know of a good sale going on, or a tradesperson that you know can help (and won't charge an arm and a leg and is reliable/trustworthy) please let me know! Or if any businesses would like to help out with a discounted price on an item we would be so grateful... I am really wanting to make a home that I can comfortably live out the rest of what time I have left.

1. Why a working bee?
We had a lot of family, friends and members of the community that couldn't contribute financially but said they can help with labour and skills they have, which will be a huge help. We also found that even those that did contribute financially felt they wanted to do more to help us.

As more and more people expressed interest in helping us, Russ and I decided that we would organise a weekend after we had moved in and settled in where we could invite people over to help us with the labour of helping our garden and landscaping. Neither Russ or myself have skills when it comes to building things and neither have had a house where we needed to do gardening, so we really appreciate all the help that has been offered.

Due to my tumours and state of my health, I won't be able to get out in the yard and help, but I am planning a lovely lunch/BBQ for everyone as my way of saying thank you but also making sure that everyone is well fed and has fuel to continue on into the afternoon. [If anyone would love to be my BBQ cook, please let me know].

I also hope that this working bee will feel like a community type project that brings people together and know that they are making a huge impact in my life and helping me to enjoy what time I have.

Once we have moved in and I have more of an idea of dates, I will create a facebook event for people to express interest in the working bee (to help me also to know catering numbers).

No one is to feel obligated to help in any means, we just thought it would be a nice way to bring together people who are able to help out.

As Russ and I have invested all our savings into building this house and paying for my medical expenses (keeping in mind we are a one-income household and are really struggling), we are trying to save money where we can.... so by people offering to come and lend a hand to save us paying someone in labour costs is really helping us out.

2. Help we need for the special garden (and help at the garden working bee):

The gofundme page that was set up by Russell will be used to fund this special garden, at the moment we are at 50% of our fundraising target and most of this funding will be consumed by the pond and water feature installation and the creation of a rock bench and pavers. I also need to buy a fence and gate, plants and koi fish... it would be awesome if we could reach the target goal and I can have the garden of my dreams and my true tropical Oasis... it is quite a big garden measuring 6.1m x 15m!

Below, is a list of the things I dream/envision in my garden escape:

Pond and water feature installation:
As the pond will be the main feature of the garden and as the garden allocated space is large the pond will be rather big as well to really make a statement.

Concrete/stone/rock bench:
I dream of having a beautiful seat that I can sit on when I am sad, when I need to escape from the world or when my stoma is playing up and I need to have a break from wearing a bag. Leading to this seated area that overlooks the pond will be a windy path through my garden.

Bamboo like plant for a screen:
One of the major reasons I need this special garden retreat is so that I can have some privacy to sit outdoors if my stoma is leaking and I just want to leave my bag off and air out my skin... I would feel more comfortable if I had a privacy screen and I feel one that is like a bamboo plant will tie in with the Zen/Japanese feel. Update: Have ordered some plants called 'tiger grass', would appreciate help planting these.

Hardy oriental type plants:
As a part of the pond build there will be a tree installed to provide shade to the pond, but I am hoping to plant other oriental type plants that are hardy in other areas of the garden to make it feel more relaxing.

Pavers and garden path:
I want to create a nice path winding through my garden and leading to my pond and a bench I will sit on in front of the pond. I want the sides of the pavers to be gardens of plants that will grow and feel like the garden is bigger than it is. I would like little miniture grass in between the pavers.

Colourbond fence and gate:
I am needing help to install a colourbond fence and gate to the front of my garden (that is the front side of the house) so that the yard can be accessed if needed but it still provides privacy and screening. I originally wanted this to be a feature rock wall but the costs were going to be $8k so I settled for a colourbond fence and just hope it doesn't detract from the garden space.

A nice big feature rock:
I know this might sound strange but I would love a feature rock in the garden and hope to have moss growing on or around the ground near it. When I die I want to have a plaque fixed to the rock that will be like a headstone. I plan on being cremated, but I want a memorial spot that my family can visit and go to. I want this plaque to read a funny line and my name and the dates (birth and death) along with a quote to help uplift or motivate them when they are sad and down and are visiting my rock. I don't want a grave, and I would only have a headstone if I felt like I wanted a place for family to feel connected to me, and I hope they will find my garden and rock this equilavent.

A bonsai tree:
It wouldn't be a Japense/Zen/oriental garden without a bonsai!

3. Other areas of our garden/landscaping we would love help with at the working bee:

Turf:
We are trying to get turf organised, I think it is 380 square metres but will need help laying it. I am certain between my brothers and Russ this can easily be done, but if you want to lend a hand the more help the better.

Garden Shed installation & concrete slab:
We need to store the mower, whipper snipper and gardeny things (rakes, hose etc) and rather than filling the main garage with trip hazards I feel it might be tidier and easier if we have a garden shed out the back. We are thinking a 3m x 1.5m  or 3m x 0.75 garden shed might be perfect and will allow us to store some trestle tables and plastic outdoor setting too. We would love a hand with installing the shed and laying the concrete slab, if anyone has experience in these please do get in touch (if you can lend a hand). 

Succulents:
I would love to have a succulent garden somewhere, even as a raised timber garden bed, or one of those decorative boxes that go in the centre of a table.

Trees:
I love watching birds playing in trees, and would like to plant some trees that attract birds especially lorikeets. Also love wattle and hoping other trees can be more native/hardy type trees that have a pretty flower and attract birds.

Gardens:
I am wanting simple garden beds with hardy elegant plants. I have some hedge/screening type plants arranged for the front of the house.

Timber trellis/pergola thingy:
If you watched the latest season of House Rules it was the SA backyard transformation by Clare and Hagan that had the timber trellis thingy above the outdoor pizza oven. I would like one of these in the back left corner of our yard with climbing vines going up over the top. We want to put the fire pit under it and some comfy chairs and sit outside and stare gaze of a night. If anyone knows how to build one and can help build me one I would love you forever! We also want to put some sandstone pavers under it too (but like a checkered pattern).
Image inspiration: https://au.tv.yahoo.com/house-rules/31783747/garden-transformation-sa-backyard/31783748/#page1

Mailbox:
I would like something that ties in with the house and doesn't look cheap and is sturdy. I would like a rendered brick mailbox if possible but have seen there are now concrete stone mail boxes with a rendered look which are pretty cool too.

4. Our list of things we need/want (in no particular order of importance):

Air Conditioning:
We know that this will be one of the more costly expenses (aside from the landscaping) and we are starting to research and get quotes for installation of different businesses. We initially need aircon in our bedroom and the lounge room, and later one in the dining/kitchen. As I don't have a thyroid my body gets hot really quickly and adding in menopausal hot flushes summer is really uncomfortable. I even sweat and am uncomfortably hot during winter and need the aircon on.. it is ridiculous I know but healthwise it helps feel more comfortable.

Blinds:
We will need to add blinds to the house and this is another costly expense. The rooms of priority are our bedroom and the media/lounge room, which we would need blockout blinds. We also need a blinde/shade for the glass sliding door from our ensuite to outside. If anyone has any recommendations of companies or installers please let me know. Once we save up enough we will put blinds in the other bedrooms, dining/living room.

Upright Freezer and cooked/frozen meals:

Russ' mum has bought this one for us as a housewarming and is planning on cooking a bunch of meals I can freeze and reheat for dinner, and the frozen meals will help so much.. if you feel like cooking a bunch of meals too I will happily accept!
 

Tea-towels: 

We honestly in 7 years have only ever bought 1 teatowl and it hangs on the side of our fridge... it was meant to be this cool bamboo and super absorbent but it does jack shit! No joke it is useless.. so we end up using towels to wipe up the dishes and I really need FUNCTIONING tea towels that dry and don't leave fluff all over the plates either.

Pillows: 
We need pillows for the spare bed, but also need to update our existing pillows on our bed. We have been using the same pillows since 2011 and they are starting to wear thin and causing head aches and neck strains.

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰

I really cannot wait to get started on the garden and to make this house into a home. I hope those that come to the working bee will enjoy the BBQ.

Much love and so many thanks,

Talya & Russell

Posted by: Talya AT 04:52 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Friday, August 05 2016

One of the hardest parts about being terminal and knowing your life will be short lived, is knowing just how much you will be missing out.

There will be plenty of birthdays, milestones, graduations, weddings and babies no doubt...

But it has really been upsetting me lately knowing that I will be missing so much, and that is hard to deal with.

I also know that if I leave Russell up to the task of buying special gifts for after I am gone, I know not only can he not choose a good present but he is never organised enough to make sure a present is arrived in time.

Heck, I start Xmas shopping around April/May each year (yes I already have presents organised already).

But part of me feels that I should be organised now and start buying gifts and getting cards together for their birthdays, future babies and weddings... but will that be creepy? Like will they be creeped out that I am giving gifts beyond my grave?

Hardest thing is I can't find like a 'etiquette to dying' handbook to tell me what I am meant to do and organise before I die... so I am kinda just winging it. (trust me I have looked... wait maybe that is my e-course or e-book idea?)

I wish everyday that I wasn't dying or that I can continue to grow old with my husband... I wish I wasn't given this shortened life sentence and that I could find a fairy godmother to grant me 3 wishes with one being 'to be cured'... but that only happens in fairytales and I am no Cinderella.

I really want to be here for Russell's 40th in 4 years, but I threw him a pretty cool 35th party (but I didn't tell him it was because I might not get to throw him a 40th). The party was under the disguise of 'half way to retirement' party.... but he had fun and his friends all had fun too. It was a themed party and everyone was to dress up as something they wanted to be when they grew up.

Was a lot of fun, and he asks me if I will throw him another party and I just reply "We'll see" and put on a smile and hold back the tears. I am considering a housewarming party, but we'll see.

Like I know I am not ready to fall off the perch just yet, and I hope I at least have another year or two but I am the sort of person that needs to be prepared and needs to be organised.

But tell me, if you got a gift or a card from a loved one beyond their grave, would you be creeped out?

 

 I ask (if you feel inclined to) that if my blog or my writing has helped you or made  a difference in your life, please consider treating me to lunch or a mango  smoothie by clicking through to my paypal.me account

 I am mostly housebound  so being able to go out for a nice treat would really help  make my day that little  bit brighter. Would also help me to feel appreciated too.

 

Posted by: Talya AT 11:06 pm   |  Permalink   |  2 Comments  |  Email
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~  Living with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis - Effects of FAP  ~

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Talya Goding - Feeling Ostomistic   talya@feelingostomistic.com.au  |  0447 426 860

Thank you for stopping by Feeling Ostomistic. It has taken a lot of courage to share my story and I ask that you show me and my site/blog respect and courtesy. Views expressed in this blog are my own and I am not a nurse or a doctor. If you need medical advice please seek your medical practitioner.

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