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Feeling Ostomistic
Friday, November 25 2016

Earlier this year, I was on a Canteen camp for members aged between 18-25. At 'camp' we not only talk about cancer but Canteen organises various workshops that help to teach us valuable skills, and often skills that we can implement in our lives right away.

Some workshops are about stress management and coping mechanisms, others are about learning to cook healthily on a budget (first time ever making hommus) and the ladies from Newcastle Permanent came to talk about budgeting and to teach us tools to succeed. I really enjoy all this money related.. I love saving money, I love frugal shopping, I love bargain hunting but I also love spreadsheets and budgets (yes I heard you yawn), I really do miss my days working in finance at a bank.

Another workshop we had was about gratitude, creating a gratitude jar and telling people when/whom/why we are thankful; we also talked about what makes you happy and the value of people and memories over materialistic objects.

We were introduced to the Science of Happiness, which was a video where several people were asked to think of someone they are thankful for, to write down why in a letter and then they were asked to ring the person to tell them.

The study concluded that people who were grateful or showed grattitude in their lives were in turn more happier than those who didn't.

I highly reccommend you check out the video on youtube by clicking here, it is such a heartfelt experience... well for me it was anyways.

I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately with my life and been struggling with facing my mortality at 25, struggling financially, but I also have felt a little lost around my self worth and value. Now, I don't want you to roll your eyes and think I am asking for sympathy or being an attention whore, I'm not trust me, I do have an important message if you keep reading on.

I decided to join some of those blogging groups where you learn how to make a lot of money blogging, kinda regret joining as it has me feeling more pathetic than I was before I joined.

Now blogging for me hasn't always or ever been about the money, I blog because I want to help others so they feel less alone, but then there are costs to running the blog like hosting fees ($30 a month) and sometimes I wished I could find sponsoring to not only help cover the running costs of the blog, but to also give me a little bit of pocket money.

So in this blogging group a coach talked about how if your blog isn't gaining the attention of sponsors or advertisers than you must be doing something wrong and that there is no value in your blog if people aren't wanting to advertise that the readers (you guys) are being sent the message that it isn't worth it.

So you can imagine I felt pretty embarrassed, pathetic and wondered is it worth it all?

So fast forward to this week, where I got an email from a reader who said:
" Hi Talya, I know you don't celebrate thanksgiving but I wanted you to know that this year I am thankful for your blog and for your help you have given me.... Your posts about chemo and an ostomy helped me to be prepared.... I am glad our paths crossed"

I tell you what, I re-read that email several times each time with tears.

I felt pride, self-worth, appreciated and needed in the first time in a long time, and it was something I really needed to hear. While I see so many people reading my blog posts, I never know if anyone gets value out of them or if I am actually helping others. So it made the world of difference being told thank you.

I also realised that money isn't what makes MY blog valuable, it is me.

So it got me thinking just how good it feels to be told genuinely that someone is thankful for you or something you did, and that person also feels happier knowing they have made you happy.

So if there is a blogger who has helped you, please do ocassionally stop by and leave them a comment or an email thanking them, it made such a difference hearing that for me personally and I am sure other bloggers would appreciate it too.

While I have been feeling down lately that I didn't have much of a legacy to leave behind, I realised that this little blog of mine is what I am leaving the world with.

I ask (if you feel inclined to) that if my blog or my writing has helped you or made a difference in your life, please consider treating me to lunch or a mango smoothie by clicking through to my paypal.me account.

 

 

 

 

I am mostly housebound so being able to go out for a nice treat would really help make my day that little bit brighter. Would also help me to feel a little appreciated too.

Posted by: Talya AT 01:53 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Sunday, October 23 2016

National Bandanna Day is coming up, and is this Friday the 28th of October. It is a day where people nationwide are encouraged to purchase and wear bandannas with the proceeds raised to support a charity called Canteen. You can read about the work they do by clicking here, or to read how Canteen has helped me personally, click here.

In the lead up to National Bandanna Day, I was approached by Canteen to be an ambassador (always wanted to be one) and talk about my cancer story and how canteen has helped me with various media outlets.

One of these outlets was a local ABC radio station, and I had always wanted to be interviewed on radio so I jumped at the chance.

Russ, my husband, was present with me the entire time I spoke and after I ended the call he praised me for how articulate I sounded and that he was proud of me.

I was a little nervous, but I made sure I was prepared.

I thought I would share 7 tips that helped me to stay calm and level headed during my radio interview, and I hope that they too help you.

#1. Find somewhere quiet to sit
My radio interview was done over the phone as opposed to meeting in the studio, so it was important that I had somewhere quiet to take the phone call that also had really good bars of reception. It also is important that you have a good/clear microphone on your phone and don't put the phone on loud speaker as it can interfere with the clarity.

#2. Remove any distractions
To make sure that you can give your full attention to the questions being asked, and to not sound at all disrespectful and distracted, it is important to make sure that there is nothing that can distract you or take the attention away from you. I made sure to close my laptop, and put my husbands phone on silent, but about half an hour before the interview call I made the decision to go and sit up at the headland in my car. This was also because I find the ocean calming and is my go to place to think if I am needing to be with my thoughts.

#3. Know your stuff, and know your 'why'
For me the interview was about my cancer story and journey and how Canteen has helped me and can help others. Because the story is that of my own I didn't need to worry about a script as I know this, but I also was prepared in knowing some statistics that I was able to casually throw into the conversation without sounding scripted or forced.

#4. Don't have a piece of paper to read off of
I only say this purely for two reasons. Firstly, the rustle of the paper might prove to be an added noise and distraction; and secondly, it might sound forced rather than a naturally flowing conversation. If you need to know statistics maybe memorise them beforehand or put them on an iPad to read or better still put the paper on a clipboard so it doesn't move or rustle.

#5. Have a bottle of water handy
As with any speaking gig, you might need to keep your mouth and throat moistened to avoid coughing or sounding hoarse.

#6. If able to, ask what questions will be asked
This is important if talking about a sensitive subject that might bring up emotions or might be a question that is off the table to be asked. I had a very respectful interviewer who asked me prior if there were any topics or questions that I didn't want to talk about, such as mortality, but in true nature of my blog I said I am pretty open and transparent and that I didn't have any objections to what is discussed.

#7. Know the name of your interviewer
This is important for courtesy and respect, but you also don't want to look like a fool when you said the wrong person's name. The interviewer has taken the time to research you and your story and it is respectful to show the same courtesy in return.

I know these are only a handful of tips, but these really helped me in preparation for my interview and I hope they help you. Feel free to add your own tips in the comments too.

Also, keep an eye out on my facebook page for when the interview will be aired as I am not too sure yet.

P.S Not sure how to wear your bandanna or how to fold it? Click here for a HOW-TO printable guide

 I ask (if you feel inclined to) that if my blog or my writing has helped you or made  a difference in your life, please consider treating me to lunch or a mango  smoothie by clicking through to my paypal.me account.

 I am mostly housebound  so being able to go out for a nice treat would really help  make my day that little  bit brighter. Would also help me to feel appreciated too.

Posted by: Talya AT 08:48 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
Monday, July 11 2016

Canteen is an organisation (charity) that provides support and help to young people (like me) aged 12-24 to help them on their cancer journey. You might have heard about Canteen through their National Bandanna Day campaign that runs annually each October.

When I was younger I had a beautiful little sister who was fighting her own intense cancer battle, and canteen helped our family out with support and ever since then and after my sister's passing we continued to support Canteen through their National Bandanna Day, our way of saying "thanks for the support".

It wasn't until after my dad died in 2012, that we realised that Canteen was there to help us through our dad having cancer and then dying, we thought it was just for people who had cancer and didn't know we could join too.

It was a few days after my dad's passing and my siblings weren't coping, so I looked into signing us up and a short time later we went on a 'New Member's Camp' where we weren't the only new kids on the block.

What I didn't know at the time was that I had found a place where I belonged and could turn to when I needed support... I also didn't know just how much I would come to rely on Canteen.

After the camp I kept in contact with the staff at my local division and accessed the counselling support.

Late 2012, I was told that I had early signs of bowel cancer and that I required my bowel to be removed in the coming months. I turned to Canteen for help and support as I made the decision to have my bowel removed and live the rest of my life with a permanent ileostomy.

Because of my surgery I didn't go on any programs during 2013, mostly out of anxiety around living with a stoma but also I was in and out of hospital with pancreatitis that I just kept missing out, which again happened during most of 2014. I was going on an over 18's program but instead was in hospital the day before camp started.

During this hospital admission they did a scan and found there was a tumour, I then travelled backwards and forwards to Sydney for consults with specialists and having scans done.

Canteen were fantastic, the staff touched base with me each week and when they were in the local area they would invite me to coffee to see how I was going.

I decided to say thank you to Canteen for their support and organised a Halloween themed high tea fundraiser, which was an absolute blast and success raising $1200 for Canteen and is an afternoon that guests still talk about.

Then in early 2015 I had a PET scan and it showed my tumour had now doubled in size, I had a new tumour growing and that I also had thyroid cancer.

I turned to Canteen a lot during this year, and I was involved a lot as a camp leader or helping to plan different programs (even though I wasn't able to attend for health reasons). I offered up my graphic design services and would design different flyers and posters or invites for camps, I loved not only having something to do but to help in my own way of saying thanks for being there for me.

I actually just got home from an Over 18's program, and I am so glad that I went... During the past fortnight I was told my chemo was to be stopped and that there were no more treatment options going forward and that palliative care were called in to help manage my pain and symptoms and to help me feel more comfortable.

The past fortnight has been extremely tough to deal with, and I just really needed to escape and get away and just talk to people my own age with their own experiences... to talk with peers who 'get it'.

I had so much fun on the program, and despite being in a lot of pain I really enjoyed myself. The staff were amazing going above and beyond to help me, and the member's who attended were so kind and accepting.

To be honest, Canteen is the one place that I feel accepted and valued and not judged, and I think that is why Canteen works so well.... it is a safe place for you to explore your feelings and dealings with your cancer journey and you are surrounded by people who are as well. 

I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through and navigated the last few years without the support and help from Canteen, and for that I will always be thankful and appreciative of all the times that Canteen was there when I needed them.

I age out of Canteen this year, so that was my last camp. I still plan on keeping in contact with the staff and offerring my graphic design services. But I have made some amazing friendships through Canteen that I will continue to cherish and keep in contact with.

If you are a young person aged 12-24 in Australia, or know someone who is affected by cancer (whether it be themselves, their parent or sibling who was/is sick) please let them know about Canteen by clicking this link.

Posted by: Talya AT 03:45 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
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~  Living with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis - Effects of FAP  ~

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Talya Goding - Feeling Ostomistic   talya@feelingostomistic.com.au  |  0447 426 860

Thank you for stopping by Feeling Ostomistic. It has taken a lot of courage to share my story and I ask that you show me and my site/blog respect and courtesy. Views expressed in this blog are my own and I am not a nurse or a doctor. If you need medical advice please seek your medical practitioner.

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