Wednesday, April 02 2014
There are times where more often than not, that I get overwhelmed when changing my bag and afterwards get really clammy and feel like I might pass out. It isn't so much to do with the stench but more it just can get too much to deal with and gets a bit emotional.
But I have been trying a new tactic the last couple of months and after just finishing a bag change I feel more at ease.
I will share my new tactic with you.
I step out of the shower and dry myself, then I go and sit on the toilet (Not that I go to the toilet but more its just personally more comfortable to change my bag seated).
Before I start my bag change prep I turn my iphone music on shuffle and have music playing.
I have always been a person who from a very young age has loved music and can relate songs to feelings or times in my life but more I grew up listening to music and it is something I love, especially belting out a tune or two.
So after I turn my music on I get myself set up which involves:
I then start removing my bag using the adhesive removing wipes and without realising I am wiping to the beat of the music and whistling the tune.
So next thing you know my bag is removed, My stoma is clean and my stoma is prepped for a new bag.
Usually takes around 3 full length songs all up to complete, but I don't notice how long it has taken or consciously aware of what I am doing as I am relaxed and at ease.
Tonight the song that was playing while I was changing my bag was 'Carry On' by Fun (which I really love) and I was listening to the lyrics and it was pretty much summing up how I have been feeling the last couple of days, and when the song was over it had me in a much better mindset then I have been for days.
The lyrics that really struck a chord were:
"Cause we are
If you're lost and alone
Listening to these lyrics really have me remembering that I am a fighter, that I have been through the worst of it that I need to pick myself up and just simply carry on. That no matter how hard times seem and how bad some days are just need to pick myself up and carry on. The past is the past and there is no point dwelling on it as I believe our past helps shapes who we are.
So on our darkest days we will find our way and we will get through this.