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Feeling Ostomistic
Tuesday, November 17 2015

Recently, my 18 year old brother graduated from year 12 and in the lead up to his final year 12 exams I gave him a piece of advice that I wish someone had of told me when I was undergoing my HSC in 2008.

I told my brother that no matter what his final marks were, that they didn't dictate his future or his ability to succeed. I told him that I loved him and all I expect is that he do his best and be happy with how hard he worked.

I wished someone had of told me that I was worth something even if I didn't get that perfect 83 that I wanted... or that someone told me that I wasn't a failure because I didn't get that mark. I felt so much pressure to get the perfect grades and that if I didn't go to university my life wouldn't amount to much without that university degree and a huge debt.


Me in my senior years of school

While my HSC marks were great (lowest exam mark was a 79 for Extension History *cough* nerd *cough*) because of my grade my university admission mark was only a 55.5, which I only JUST scraped into uni for Nursing (which I had to cease studying due to health reasons) but I until recently have felt like a failure because I am 24 and have no solid career or university degree.

But it took me telling my brother that his life won't be over if he doesn't get into uni, to realise that my life was never over when I didn't get into the course I wanted or because I didn't finish that university degree.. instead I have had a pretty interesting life the last few years and I have done my best to grab life by the metaphorical balls and to make the most of it.

I am a big believer that when one door closes another door opens, and that opportunities exist everywhere you just have to be looking for them!

I always wanted to have a career in health helping people and I thought that it was because I could do so through nursing. But I have since learnt that I can achieve this through my blog and writings and that I want to be a social worker and counsellor. It was through my nursing studies that I realised I was more interested in the holistic picture and the social aspect of my studies and that I can make a difference in other ways. Then I started my blog when I needed to have my bowel removed and an ileostomy, when I couldn't find ANY resources pertaining to life of a young female with a stoma, and so began Feeling Ostomistic.

This wasn't the only opportunity I have found by chance.

I know I don't talk about it a lot, being a taboo subject and all... but I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and as my way of coping (in a healthy way) I turn to crafts and keeping my hands and in turn my mind busy so that I can distract myself... this had always been sufficient in helping me to cope. That was until I was diagnosed with FAP and dealing with my dad's terminal bowel cancer when I realised I needed something more dynamic.

So I turned my coping mechanisim of a creative outlet into a cottage enterprise Made With Love Cards And Crafts, where it quickly turned into a busy little handmade business that became respected not only around Australia but globally too (with products being sent to Ellen Degeneres!!). I had eventually gotten so many orders I had waiting lists and had to turn clients away as I just couldn't physically do all the work. But then my health got the better of me and 18 months ago I stopped taking on orders as it got too hard being in hospital. I sometimes do the occasional card for family or friends but haven't formally taken orders for a while...

But because I now had no creative outlet and was spending weeks and months in hospital, I quickly found myself feeling down and in a bad place mentally. I knew I had to find another creative outlet and venture that could be fulfilling of my creative needs, that was busy and kept me distracted, and also was mobile so that it could come to hospital with me and didn't require being made or supplies.

Then a lightbulb moment happened, and I decided to invest in myself and start Goding Consulting where I offered graphic design (logo, flyers, business cards) and assistance with setting up social media pages. This was a business that I had the skills for, and being entirely based on my computer meant it was 100% mobile and could be taken to hospital with me... 

In fact it was so mobile that it followed me to Sydney for 5 weeks during my hospital stay and RPA media called me "a hospital bed entrepreneur". I have taken a break since October 2015 to focus on my health more.

So 7 years on since my HSC my marks mean nothing to me and hasn't dictated the path I have created for myself.

My marks didn't dictate my self worth or my lack of future accomplishments, it just made me determined to look for my own opportunities and make the most of what life gives me.

So to all those students whom like my brother are awaiting their final marks, I hope that this message helps give you perspective that there is life after year 12 and there are plenty of paths you can take... just be mindful of the opportunities that present themselves as they might not always be obvious and will need to be found... but they are out there!

 
Posted by: Talya AT 12:26 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
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~  Living with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis - Effects of FAP  ~

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Talya Goding - Feeling Ostomistic   talya@feelingostomistic.com.au  |  0447 426 860

Thank you for stopping by Feeling Ostomistic. It has taken a lot of courage to share my story and I ask that you show me and my site/blog respect and courtesy. Views expressed in this blog are my own and I am not a nurse or a doctor. If you need medical advice please seek your medical practitioner.

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