Tuesday, July 05 2016
When it comes cancer and sharing your story/journey, there is always someone who either seems to know the cure for cancer or has some advice for you... commonly it is telling you what you're doing wrong and somehow making you feel that you are to blame for it (having cancer).
Quite often I am told if I don't eat sugar and avoid it then my cancer will stop growing and will go away.... or that if I wasn't fat then I wouldn't have cancer.
Another piece of 'advice' I got a couple of months back, was that if I LOVED my cancer unconditionally that it will be unwanted and will just go away.
But what was rather upsetting recently was advice not given to me, but to my little 15 year old sister.
My sister has the same genetic cancer causing gene (FAP) that I have and that my dad had (that is killing me, and killed him)... so you can imagine how hard it would be at her age knowing she has a 100% chance of bowel cancer and has seen her dad and older sister sick from the disease.... it would be rather distressing not knowing if she too would experience what my dad and I experienced.
My sister went on a recent school camp and was asked to share her story in front of her peers, teachers and also to an audience of people attending at a church.
She gave her story and at the end a gentleman stood up claiming to be a doctor and told her "if you avoid red meat for the rest of your life you will never get bowel cancer".
My sister came home all excited and filled with hope. She said to me and my mum "guess what mummy, I am now a vegetarian as I was told by some doctor on camp that IF I never eat red meat again I won't ever get bowel cancer and be cured".
My heart just sank and broke, here she was filled with hope all because someone told her advice that they shouldn't have... regardless of what you eat, if you have this gene you will get bowel cancer.
I had to fight hard to hold back my tears as I told her the reality... I watched that bubble literally burst and it broke my heart.
She had hope... but it wasn't the right advice to be given... he doesn't know our story, he doesn't know our gene and hadn't consulted with our many specialists who are specialists in the field for a reason.
All she could keep saying was "but he was a doctor".
But even doctors should know when to keep their opinion to themselves.
But bless her dear heart, she plans on studying hard to become a scientist to find the cure for cancer.
If you are talking to someone and you are about to give advice of the latest 'craze' going around, please refrain from offerring unwanted advice as the damage can be a lot to someone who is vulnerable, scared and is looking for hope.
Just look at the fall out from Belle Gibson telling people she cured herself of brain cancer, WHEN SHE NEVER HAD CANCER TO BEGIN WITH.
Just remember, words can cause damage... and starting or ending with 'Just sayin' doesn't make it any less of an insult or offence.