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Feeling Ostomistic
Tuesday, August 09 2016

I am so excited! Our house that we have been building (for what feels like years), is FINALLY at the 4 weeks to completion point.

Woop Woop!

This means that in 4 weeks we receive our keys and we can start moving in, ending our time as tennants and time to pay off our own mortgage.

This will also be my final house I will ever live in, and if my plan for an at-home death falls into place this will also be my final resting spot... and this is a dream come true, something I never thought I would get to experience.

In my 25 years I have lived in something crazy like 47 houses (I can name every single house) because my parents rented and sometimes we moved every 3-6 months, and then I have moved a lot in my adult life too.

So I am pretty excited to finally have a house that I can make into a home and not have the stress of house inspections and being evicted and having to move EVER AGAIN.

I am also pretty excited for my garden escape to be built and to have a place I can go to escape that is my happy place.... some days I really need somewhere outside of the house I can go and have privacy (and where we currently live that isn't an option as there is no fenced yard).

It took a lot for me to want to ask for help to create the garden escape for me, and I felt that some might feel that a garden was a silly dying wish to have, but it has been something that I really want and need... especially as I am mostly housebound and this is rather isolating and some days I am so down and depressed I don't get out of bed.

I know things will only get worse as time goes on, so I know that I will need this. I used to love going to the botanical gardens when I was sad or angry and it was my happy place, but I can't walk far anymore before being in too much pain so Russ wanted to try and bring the garden to me.

Russ set up a gofundme page to try and raise the funds needed to make this magical garden escape for me, and we have been so humbled and appreciative of all the support and donations so far! The link to the gofundme and to read my story thus far, https://www.gofundme.com/gardenfortalya

For what the working bee will involve (for those who have expressed interest) and my vision for my special garden and landscaping, please read on below. There is two sections: the main special garden (is my priority), but we also would appreciate any help in the rest of the landscaping (such as turfing, creating some gardens, laying pavers, mailbox) etc.

I have had a lot of family and friends ask what help we need in the garden, but also what things we need for the house. So I decided I would write this as a blog post so that I can just send them the link and they can read it, as opposed to me explaining it repeatedly.

Please note: I am not writing this expecting to get things for free, expecting charity or expecting anyone to buy things on our list out of obligation; especially as some of the things we need are costly. But if you want to help in the form of letting me know of a good sale going on, or a tradesperson that you know can help (and won't charge an arm and a leg and is reliable/trustworthy) please let me know! Or if any businesses would like to help out with a discounted price on an item we would be so grateful... I am really wanting to make a home that I can comfortably live out the rest of what time I have left.

1. Why a working bee?
We had a lot of family, friends and members of the community that couldn't contribute financially but said they can help with labour and skills they have, which will be a huge help. We also found that even those that did contribute financially felt they wanted to do more to help us.

As more and more people expressed interest in helping us, Russ and I decided that we would organise a weekend after we had moved in and settled in where we could invite people over to help us with the labour of helping our garden and landscaping. Neither Russ or myself have skills when it comes to building things and neither have had a house where we needed to do gardening, so we really appreciate all the help that has been offered.

Due to my tumours and state of my health, I won't be able to get out in the yard and help, but I am planning a lovely lunch/BBQ for everyone as my way of saying thank you but also making sure that everyone is well fed and has fuel to continue on into the afternoon. [If anyone would love to be my BBQ cook, please let me know].

I also hope that this working bee will feel like a community type project that brings people together and know that they are making a huge impact in my life and helping me to enjoy what time I have.

Once we have moved in and I have more of an idea of dates, I will create a facebook event for people to express interest in the working bee (to help me also to know catering numbers).

No one is to feel obligated to help in any means, we just thought it would be a nice way to bring together people who are able to help out.

As Russ and I have invested all our savings into building this house and paying for my medical expenses (keeping in mind we are a one-income household and are really struggling), we are trying to save money where we can.... so by people offering to come and lend a hand to save us paying someone in labour costs is really helping us out.

2. Help we need for the special garden (and help at the garden working bee):

The gofundme page that was set up by Russell will be used to fund this special garden, at the moment we are at 50% of our fundraising target and most of this funding will be consumed by the pond and water feature installation and the creation of a rock bench and pavers. I also need to buy a fence and gate, plants and koi fish... it would be awesome if we could reach the target goal and I can have the garden of my dreams and my true tropical Oasis... it is quite a big garden measuring 6.1m x 15m!

Below, is a list of the things I dream/envision in my garden escape:

Pond and water feature installation:
As the pond will be the main feature of the garden and as the garden allocated space is large the pond will be rather big as well to really make a statement.

Concrete/stone/rock bench:
I dream of having a beautiful seat that I can sit on when I am sad, when I need to escape from the world or when my stoma is playing up and I need to have a break from wearing a bag. Leading to this seated area that overlooks the pond will be a windy path through my garden.

Bamboo like plant for a screen:
One of the major reasons I need this special garden retreat is so that I can have some privacy to sit outdoors if my stoma is leaking and I just want to leave my bag off and air out my skin... I would feel more comfortable if I had a privacy screen and I feel one that is like a bamboo plant will tie in with the Zen/Japanese feel. Update: Have ordered some plants called 'tiger grass', would appreciate help planting these.

Hardy oriental type plants:
As a part of the pond build there will be a tree installed to provide shade to the pond, but I am hoping to plant other oriental type plants that are hardy in other areas of the garden to make it feel more relaxing.

Pavers and garden path:
I want to create a nice path winding through my garden and leading to my pond and a bench I will sit on in front of the pond. I want the sides of the pavers to be gardens of plants that will grow and feel like the garden is bigger than it is. I would like little miniture grass in between the pavers.

Colourbond fence and gate:
I am needing help to install a colourbond fence and gate to the front of my garden (that is the front side of the house) so that the yard can be accessed if needed but it still provides privacy and screening. I originally wanted this to be a feature rock wall but the costs were going to be $8k so I settled for a colourbond fence and just hope it doesn't detract from the garden space.

A nice big feature rock:
I know this might sound strange but I would love a feature rock in the garden and hope to have moss growing on or around the ground near it. When I die I want to have a plaque fixed to the rock that will be like a headstone. I plan on being cremated, but I want a memorial spot that my family can visit and go to. I want this plaque to read a funny line and my name and the dates (birth and death) along with a quote to help uplift or motivate them when they are sad and down and are visiting my rock. I don't want a grave, and I would only have a headstone if I felt like I wanted a place for family to feel connected to me, and I hope they will find my garden and rock this equilavent.

A bonsai tree:
It wouldn't be a Japense/Zen/oriental garden without a bonsai!

3. Other areas of our garden/landscaping we would love help with at the working bee:

Turf:
We are trying to get turf organised, I think it is 380 square metres but will need help laying it. I am certain between my brothers and Russ this can easily be done, but if you want to lend a hand the more help the better.

Garden Shed installation & concrete slab:
We need to store the mower, whipper snipper and gardeny things (rakes, hose etc) and rather than filling the main garage with trip hazards I feel it might be tidier and easier if we have a garden shed out the back. We are thinking a 3m x 1.5m  or 3m x 0.75 garden shed might be perfect and will allow us to store some trestle tables and plastic outdoor setting too. We would love a hand with installing the shed and laying the concrete slab, if anyone has experience in these please do get in touch (if you can lend a hand). 

Succulents:
I would love to have a succulent garden somewhere, even as a raised timber garden bed, or one of those decorative boxes that go in the centre of a table.

Trees:
I love watching birds playing in trees, and would like to plant some trees that attract birds especially lorikeets. Also love wattle and hoping other trees can be more native/hardy type trees that have a pretty flower and attract birds.

Gardens:
I am wanting simple garden beds with hardy elegant plants. I have some hedge/screening type plants arranged for the front of the house.

Timber trellis/pergola thingy:
If you watched the latest season of House Rules it was the SA backyard transformation by Clare and Hagan that had the timber trellis thingy above the outdoor pizza oven. I would like one of these in the back left corner of our yard with climbing vines going up over the top. We want to put the fire pit under it and some comfy chairs and sit outside and stare gaze of a night. If anyone knows how to build one and can help build me one I would love you forever! We also want to put some sandstone pavers under it too (but like a checkered pattern).
Image inspiration: https://au.tv.yahoo.com/house-rules/31783747/garden-transformation-sa-backyard/31783748/#page1

Mailbox:
I would like something that ties in with the house and doesn't look cheap and is sturdy. I would like a rendered brick mailbox if possible but have seen there are now concrete stone mail boxes with a rendered look which are pretty cool too.

4. Our list of things we need/want (in no particular order of importance):

Air Conditioning:
We know that this will be one of the more costly expenses (aside from the landscaping) and we are starting to research and get quotes for installation of different businesses. We initially need aircon in our bedroom and the lounge room, and later one in the dining/kitchen. As I don't have a thyroid my body gets hot really quickly and adding in menopausal hot flushes summer is really uncomfortable. I even sweat and am uncomfortably hot during winter and need the aircon on.. it is ridiculous I know but healthwise it helps feel more comfortable.

Blinds:
We will need to add blinds to the house and this is another costly expense. The rooms of priority are our bedroom and the media/lounge room, which we would need blockout blinds. We also need a blinde/shade for the glass sliding door from our ensuite to outside. If anyone has any recommendations of companies or installers please let me know. Once we save up enough we will put blinds in the other bedrooms, dining/living room.

Upright Freezer and cooked/frozen meals:

Russ' mum has bought this one for us as a housewarming and is planning on cooking a bunch of meals I can freeze and reheat for dinner, and the frozen meals will help so much.. if you feel like cooking a bunch of meals too I will happily accept!
 

Tea-towels: 

We honestly in 7 years have only ever bought 1 teatowl and it hangs on the side of our fridge... it was meant to be this cool bamboo and super absorbent but it does jack shit! No joke it is useless.. so we end up using towels to wipe up the dishes and I really need FUNCTIONING tea towels that dry and don't leave fluff all over the plates either.

Pillows: 
We need pillows for the spare bed, but also need to update our existing pillows on our bed. We have been using the same pillows since 2011 and they are starting to wear thin and causing head aches and neck strains.

✰✰✰✰✰✰✰

I really cannot wait to get started on the garden and to make this house into a home. I hope those that come to the working bee will enjoy the BBQ.

Much love and so many thanks,

Talya & Russell

Posted by: Talya AT 04:52 am   |  Permalink   |  0 Comments  |  Email
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~  Living with Familial Adenomatous Polyposis - Effects of FAP  ~

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Talya Goding - Feeling Ostomistic   talya@feelingostomistic.com.au  |  0447 426 860

Thank you for stopping by Feeling Ostomistic. It has taken a lot of courage to share my story and I ask that you show me and my site/blog respect and courtesy. Views expressed in this blog are my own and I am not a nurse or a doctor. If you need medical advice please seek your medical practitioner.

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